`pickles and cheese taste so goddam good togerther
Way back in the 80s, I met this guy who placed a personal ad in this paper. I mean this was way before the internet. He put his number in the ad to call. It started with 588 so I figured he lived close by. I called him because my best friend and my boyfriend were sleeping together and I felt alone. We connected and it wasn't love at first sight but we ended up together. He was kind and loving but I couldn't accept that and moved on. But we kept in touch for over thirty years but he never told his wife. My dad died in January and around the same time his wife found out we had always been in touch through a couple of postcards he still had. So all I feel is loss. I know it was all wrong but I miss him and I miss my dad and I have to figure out how to say good bye when I cant reach him anymore. So I put on Tori Amos and cried my eyes out and offered up this to the universe. This is where we met and this is where I can say good bye. I will always love you MIchawoo. See you on the other side...
I spend less time surfing the web than I did when I had a job..
When I was 9, my parents enrolled me in judo classes. I suppose it was a way to extract me from my shell (I was painfully shy and was having a difficult time making friends after a move). And I did enjoy it. After a few months, I went to my first tournament. My coach pulled me aside and asked me to throw my one and only match. Being an obedient child, I did. I didn't go back to judo after that.
I’ve never been on a date with someone I just met and thought is cute and have a crush on. I asked my crush out on a date recently. The answer was no. I even gifted a flower in Valentine’s Day. They expressed they weren’t interested. I feel stupid and I’m never doing that again. I can’t stop thinking about how stupid they must think I am even though they probably aren’t thinking about me at all. Ouch. I know I sound 12 but embarrassingly I’m pushing 40. I feel pathetic.
I've kept diaries for decades. Different ones from different time periods, and on different subjects. Lately I've been getting the urge to throw them out. Not entirely sure why...like a sort of shedding of my past self, maybe? I think I will do it, but I worry I will regret it.
of anyone who claim to be experts in any specific fields. Particularly if their expertise is mostly gained from youtube videos. Liking MMA does not make you an expert in combat. Reading about dieting doesnt make you healthy. Talking about fitness doesnt mean you are fit. LEss talk people. Much much less talk.
I was having a discussion with my gf about our potential future baby (I'm not pregnant). She mentioned that if I were to have a medical emergency during childbirth and had to choose between saving only the baby or only me, she would choose to save the baby. She didnt hesitate for a moment. This really upset me. Her reasons were that it has its whole life ahead of it and I've already lived 27 years. Am I silly to feel hurt?
I tied the knot with someone a few years ago, but the one I really want tied the knot with someone else.
I'm feeling frustrated with the lack of mental health services available for non-insured, low-income start-up business owners. I had to call 20 psychiatric offices today only to find out they don't take provincial msp coverage... maybe I'm wrong and I misunderstood. So then one place tells me to call Access and Accessibility Centre. Called them and apparently I'm in the catchment and they recommended Richmond Mental Health services which needs a referral. Why is it sooo difficult to get help? The silver lining? I'm not suicidal...but if I was I definitely wouldn't go through all this effort to get my mental health taken care. I'm sick of barely having enough food, living one month to another wondering if I'll make enough sales while everyone around me wants a deal. On top of that, I don't have the fuckin time to apply for CEBA, CERS or any grant. How does the government expect sole proprietors to do all that plus run a business on your own. Hopefully my family survives. I just wish I could crawl under my blanket and cry for days.