Search confessions

Nostalgia and the passage of time

I was just made aware of the fact that Siamese Dream was released 31 years ago. I remember exactly where I was when I first heard it, small town, over at my friend's house when he put a cassette on of this new band, and I immediately had to go out and buy a copy (well, get my Mom to drive me to the mall the next town over, technically). Nostalgia over that summer and the crush I had at the time.. Feels like a lifetime ago and a world away. Wonder where they are now and how they're doing, has their journey been anything like mine? Where did the time go? I feel old..

Politically incorrect

I confess that in this day and age of hyper political correctness and woke, I frequently find myself watching comedy from the 80s, 70s, 60s, and prior before people got all this sensitive. Mel Brook's "Blazing Saddles," All In the Family, Foster Brooks, George Carlin, Victor Borge, Carol Burnett, Carol Channing, Dean Martin's roast nights, Dame Edna, Sir Les Patterson, Red Skelton... I was raised by that generation and dearly miss how witty, authentic, and creative their English was, and how they knew how to make fun of themselves, and have those they were mocking bust a gut with them. The same goes for reading old comic stips like Mutt & Jeff and the Far Side. For those who didn't grow up around that and folks like them, it's hard to get or may come across as crude. Few knew any different. They were hard times too for most. People were poor as a church mouse. Laughter was the only way to deal with the crap. But you'd howl so hard you'd piss yourself. Today, society makes you feel guilty for finding anything funny at all.

Yes, I've Told Her Im In love With her

she doesn't seem to care much. She speculated that it is lust. I told her lust is a part of love. the truth is , I love the way i feel when shes around. i want to be near her always. Sure, she happens to be georgeous but I think if she wasn't so gorgeous she'd realize that yes, I do in fact love her. I wish people would take me at my word. I don't lie. I despise liars, you can't trust them at all. I trust myself.

Sick Again

Due in large part to exposure to secondhand cigarette smoke. I don't smoke, but there are some stupid, morally unevolved humans that do: my neighbour living in the next suite of our non-smoking apartment; a few of the regular passengers on my bus commute that inconsiderately empty their smoke-filled lungs inside the transit vehicle; and, a few of the contractors that come into my workplace, that do the same thing. Lung cancer is a bad way to go, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but sometimes I feel like they should suffer, like I'm suffering right now.

Age of Grey

I got Covid when it first started to pop up and it hit me pretty hard. One of the many side effects was that it caused a very noticeable increase in grey hair. Since then I now get called old, "Sir", grandpa, etc., and am treated quite differently at work, in my social life, and by the opposite sex. Mostly in a derogatory way. It's been an eye opener. I now look at older people in a different way and feel more compassion towards them. Ageism is real of course and stressful like any other form of discrimination. It's one of the last forms of socially accepted prejudice. It's blatant and in your face with no repercussions. It took contracting a virus for me to realize this.

How the tables have turned

I love my Uncle. Unfortunately, I love him in short bursts. I cannot tolerate him for long periods of time. Whenever he calls, he always brags about useless crap. He puts his wife on a pedestal. Now I hear she’s divorcing him. So what’s there to brag about? WTF.

But They didn’t mean it

I wonder about the ultimate betrayal in a relationship. Is it Infidelity? Lying? How about Disloyalty, Damage, Theft, or Disrespect? Whatever it is, the impact is harm. Intention means nothing.

Who needs him

I had this friend back in my old school days. He used to be humble about coming from a wealthy family but his personality changed defiantly after we graduated. Success must have gone to his head. He became cocky and full of himself. He never had anything interesting to say except comparing his wealth to others and bragging about high priced dinners with lawyers and that kind of crap. Garbage. Absolute garbage. We had nothing in common, so we drifted. I don’t know him anymore. Haven’t seen him in so long therefore he’s dead to me. More so than my own dead relatives.

No one talks about

The guilt of being an unplanned pregnancy, of throwing a wrench into people's lives through no fault of your own. Thirty-five years and three more children later, my parent's marriage isn't horrible, but it isn't great either. They love one another but the marriage is dysfunctional, according to both of them. I sometimes wonder what their lives would've been like if I hadn't appeared. I'm confident they would've gone on to marry other people.

everything has become transient, intentionally

my childhood photos lasted until i was 55, when my wife asked for them, then threw them out. how long do digital phone images last now? 2 years, then the phone dies and everything is gone. Blade Runner had it backwards, the truth is those in power don't want us to have any memories.


ART CARS, but no cars

When looking at a street installation, you asked my opinion. We chatted briefly, before we...

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