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Hell of a pandemic

Seeing pictures of people and so many ppl went grey over the last year. Even white in their beards. I don’t think I look old like them, but I definitely look broke and poorer over the last year.

Painful stigma.

I've lost over a decade to depression. I literally hide myself away in my parent's house. I've tried several different medications, therapy, intense cardio, being out in nature, got a dog, meditation, healthy eating, vitamins, minerals, herbal supplements. I'm so tired of trying, I'm so exhausted from fighting. And there's noone to tell because the stigma & judgment are extreme. 

Seeing random women cry

Whether it is New Years morning and everyone is sleeping, or in an ally outside of Granville strip, I occasionally see a woman cry by herself. I cannot imagine how terrible it is to break down and cry somewhere in public by one’s self. I wonder it is socially acceptable for a guy to console a random woman in the streets. My gut says yes, but I suspect there could be a lot of “get the fuck away from me” curveballs too.

I end up in psychiatric care

I am in medical leave because of my career. I work in social services. The amount of pressure, abuse, lack of support, lack of promoting mental wellness, and the broken system in this field that I end up having a mental breakdown. Unfortunately, I have to quit this field. No amount of self-care and trying to detach myself as a frontline worker couldn't avoid my fate. Yes, another one bite the dust in the helping field. :-(

Lazy Lovers

After staying home for this long, it's doubtful that I will accept "Netflix n' chill" as a date again.

Dreams of a New Me

As someone who has struggled with weight my whole life, I wished I had used the past 1.5 years of COVID as an opportunity to lose weight. I know I am the lucky few who saw improved mental health during the pandemic, because I was able to work from home and have less FOMO. I got back three hours a day because I no longer had to commute, and I could eat healthier because I live with my parents and they also have a fridge and pantry full of healthy, nutritious foods. I wish I could go back to work and dating in the fall with a new, fit body, but that won’t be the case. I keep dreaming of what could have been. Going back to my old habits and still having the self loathing and low self esteem makes me so sad. If only I could go back in time and use my extra time each day more wisely!

Warm beer alert

Whenever I buy cans of beer from the "cold section" of a lot of private liquor stores, the beer ends up being warm. At least at the BCL, it's actually legitimately cold. Saving a buck... but the buck stops here. I like COLD beer. Not... semi-cold beer.

I fell for a penpal.

A few time casual hookup. A most considerate non-committal dater with everything out in the open. I stopped talking to them a couple months ago and the last month they've faded from my mind. But these last two nights I have been having nightmares and they're in them for some reason. Why am I being haunted? Nightmares and dating aside, I just want my full seven hours. That's all I'm asking.

Salad Summer

I'll be the first to admit, I don't eat as many greens as I should. But, when summer hits, I typically eat quite a bit of salad, even if I eat out. I recently noticed that there seems to be this trend of adding arugula to other meals, like on avocado toast for example. I'm not a fan, because unfortunately and I have no idea why but arugula just tastes like gasoline to me.

I SAW YOU

Cycle daddy on the 99

I had to get my bike out so you could remove yours when you got out at Main. I didn't think...

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