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Single, lonely long weekend

How this single, lonely Vancouver guy spent the long weekend: 1) Doing laundry and cleaning up my apartment 2) Grocery shopping 3) Reading these confessions 4) Browsing for porn and masturbating to it 5) Oh, and exercising at the gym, going for a run, catching up on my PVR'd TV shows, and dinner with family. This is the only thing about the long weekend that I post on social media, or tell my coworkers tomorrow if they ask.

Girl Stealing From Car in San Francisco

I saw a video today which purported to show a woman who appears to have a substance abuse problem being confronted by a man who is claiming she is stealing from cars. My first thought was, "So what? You deserve it you scumbag." but I started to think a bit more deeply, and I realized that I still thought "So what? You deserve it you scumbag." The only honest ethical consumption under capitalism comes from stealing from tech worker's cars. So, the next time you pick up an organic green juice at Whole Foods, just consider how much better it would taste if you got it out of the grocery bag in the Honda Civic outside.

Doing the dishes

I can't stop thinking about the fact that my neighbours hear my every move. I know that is part of apartment living, and it goes both ways. But it just feels like I have no privacy. I have strangers in all directions who hear every time I turn on the water or take a step or play music or go out or make dinner or laugh or whatever. I feel kind of imprisoned, I would like to whistle and a sing all day but I don't because they will hear me. It's not their fault, I'm sure it's mutual and I probably inhibit myself more than I need to. I just don't see a light at the end of the tunnel because I don't see how I could ever afford to live in a detached dwelling. How do you deal with it?

Coat check self zip-up

If you’re paying them to check your coat, you’d think they could zip it up at least instead of getting you to do it. Weak sauce Vancouver coat-checksters. ... I guess that’s the level of qualification you need for that line of work though.

Life of a Guardian

My cat owns my sock drawer. Some days when I get home from work, I'll find my drawer open with socks strewn all over the floor in my bedroom, and even out in the hallway. One or two sometimes show up on the couch because she likes carrying them to her favourite spot near the window. I wonder if she looks out of it with a sock in her mouth. On these days I usually find her on my bed nomming on the end of one like a bunny (she certainly looks like one with her white fur) chewing on a carrot. And she looks up at me when I come in as if she's done nothing naughty and gets all purry. I totally give up. I'm just going to leave the drawer open for her. Maybe I should buy her some of her own? Who knew cats liked socks so much? I love her to bits, but sometimes she's such a weirdo.

Kink scene

It's becoming mainstream and PC. Consent and discussing limits is #1 importance, but now you hear more and more about the politics and scent free environment, etc. For something that was never PC, it's ultra PC now.

Dear Wife (not)

You took my name (and a lot more!) I love and think of you everyday. I have zero regrets ( occasionally I desire you to back into me and to have you near) We are but the moments we share.

Taxis these days

Aren't set up for 5 people, barely take an advance booking, sometimes won't stop, won't go to certain places because "it's the end of my shift", and sometimes the credit card machine is mysteriously broken forcing cash. All of this is adding up to a general frustration with people. If you guys are trying to stop Uber you better try something else. Being difficult to clients isn't working.

She told her friends

I was in a relationship with a woman I loved. In bed, one night, she asked/told me to lick her asshole. I did and she liked it, and it wasn't awful, and then, after that, I did it whenever she asked/told me to. There was more of telling than asking, but that was all right, because I loved her. Months later, because it was snowing, I gave her cousin a ride home after dinner. Her cousin told me that she and my girlfriend had been having drinks with six of their women friends from their hometown and that my girlfriend had told them that she made me lick her asshole. In fact, she had told them everything we did together in bed. These were friends that we went to dinners and parties with. I realized that every one of those women knew what I had done and that I had seen them, and they had seen me, many times after they knew. I was silenced and beyond surprised. I never imagined that my girlfriend would tell anyone. I hadn't told anyone. I wondered if I had ever told male friends about intimate acts that a woman had with me. I must have, but in more general terms, I think, and not to a group of men, maybe to one close friend. Her cousin repeated that she knew everything that her cousin and I did. She told me that, although she was 30, she had never been with a man. She asked if she could be with me, if I would make love with her. It was snowing heavily and the road was obscured and the windshield wipers were clotted with heavy snow and moving slowly. The wipers provided instants of amazing clarity, but the windshield was immediately covered again with snow. Sitting next to her cousin in the car, I felt cold inside and I don't know what I was thinking when I said, "Yes. Yes."

Did you get the message?

The one I didn’t leave that is. I called the other day but I didn’t say anything on your voicemail, just like you didn’t say anything when you called me. Don’t you just hate that? I’m still waiting for you to say whatever it is that you want to say. I’m still here, same numbers as always. Maybe we both need some closure?

I SAW YOU

Ernest Ice Cream and Buddhist Monks

You were sitting on the bench at Ernest Ice Cream. You were with two male Buddhist monks in...

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