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Seesaw

When things are up for others, my life is down. And when the world is low, so low, my life looks up; problems suddenly smoothed over. It's like creating a science project for how the human eye processes light. Did you know that through that looking glass things present as upsidedown but that the mind adjusts the image? Finally, it feels like the rest of the world recognizes it. I suddenly feel sane within the insanity. Welcome. You've finally woken up to how the other half lives. While sitting upswung on this playground I wait for the balance to tip the scales once again and for my shoes to drop.

Punching bag purchase.

My sanity and patience is being tested during this Covid-19 pandemic. I need to buy a punching bag or else I'm going to put my fist through my living room wall.

Such low effort men on the apps

I am a woman. I use hinge. If I make the effort to comment on something on your profile and you decide to match but then “invite ____ to start the conversation” don’t expect a response back. Put in some effort. I am going to start giving you guys 24hrs to say something then unmatch.

I had a dream...

... last night. Imperial Dollar Bills for a re-united British Empire, with the insignia of the Order of the Stare of India, the motto HEAVEN'S LIGHT OUR GUIDE. Then I was rudely woken up.

Well darn..

I had gathered courage and was just about to ask out the girl I've liked for awhile.

Beside myself

I cant beleive these turn of events. So typical What is with this life, anyways ? Im a strong person. Even more than I realised, but a person has limits. I am determined. But Whats Next ? Bumps in the road So many bumps... Bumps

Miss you

Silver Lining, the wake-up call is something, right? It takes a mess to make us pause and think. Life is short. We could die any minute. I was kinda hoping the people I miss would contact me. They haven't. I haven't contacted them either though. But I'm sending out those feels anonymously.

Web streaming decisions

Normally I don’t watch TV... but now that I am stuck indoors, I need to do something with my time. It is cold and rainy outside. Therefore, I have decided to re-watch all the episodes of Bay Watch. Let’s cozy up to some popcorn!

This is difficult

The same night I watched my mother die is also the same night I found out my cousin committed suicide. I feel so gutted. I’m in such disbelief, I just want to be numb. Because of this Covid 19 bs, I can’t check into the emergency for my emotional distress in regards to my traumatic losses, as I’ve done in the past before. I’m trying so bloody hard to stay strong, but I just want to call the dealer buy a bunch of dope and get high. I feel so alone and isolated.

direct dial

I havent spoken to the woman i love in a couple of years. I miss and love her everyday but i am not responsible or thought full enough to be in a full time /all the time relationship. (its beyond the scope of my abilities) Anyways my wife does and will talk to my adult children.The last time she was talking to my daughter she was being overtly emotional...to which my daughter kept asking her if she was dying? (She told my daughter she is not dying.) The mrs knows full and well this is going to get back to me....i just wish she would use the phone and call me directly instead of going through my kids.

I SAW YOU

Hey, my eyes are down

I’ve seen you, and I feel you’ve seen me.. ...

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