Search confessions

Time’s up

It’s true what they say you know, that when you’re at the end of your life you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did. My time is coming to an end sooner than I expected, and I can definitely say that my biggest regret was not leaving a doomed relationship as soon as my gut instincts told me to. All those wasted years and now there’s no time left. So if I could do it all over again I’d risk more, adventure more, say goodbye to toxic people sooner, and not give a rat’s ass about the approval of other people about my decisions.

Job interviews

Had 2 interviews with company. Just saw that they reposted the job opportunity on all the sites. So now just waiting for that dreaded “Thank you but no thanks” automated email. You’d think they’d tell me first before reposting. I absolutely can’t stand this job market.

Lost Toy

I was scrolling through my camera roll of an old phone from 5 years ago and I found a photo I had taken of someone's dildo that had been dropped on the bus. I've since transferred the photo to more permanent storage. People would never believe the things I find on transit.


By sex I’m a Woman, but I’m gender queer. This isn’t a thing I really talk about but it’s what I am. I don’t identify with gender culture and am coming to terms with my gender queerness. While I don’t identify with the culture I am still incredibly impressed and in awe and proud of this body that carries me- this body of a Woman. I am a Woman by body and I shirk off any obligation to comply with a prescribed way of being a Woman (ie gender culture). Changing surveys and forms to ask from Gender instead of Sex was a step sideways not forward. Asking a pronoun instead of wither sex or gender would make some sense. That’s asking specifically how you wish to be addressed. Being asked Gender in these forms feels super invasive and in many cases is forcing some folks to out themselves in situations.

Growing up

So there’s this guy that I used to chat with a while back. He lives in the United States. I couldn’t relate to him since he basically didn’t want to grow up. His entire life revolved around watching children’s entertainment, day in and day out. Never watched any adult shows like a sitcom, a soap opera or even the news. He once said to me how watching kid’s shows have corrupted his life in many ways and has made him want to be a kid forever. No, I don’t think watching children’s entertainment makes him want to be a kid forever. He knows it’s not for his age, but he’s in denial. It seems to me more like he has Peter Pan syndrome. And if that is the case, it’s something he’s going to have to eventually move on from because life only gets tougher as you get older. It’s all a part of growing up.

Signed zero

The most prevalent theme for me this past year: Love or Death. But death seems to be winning out for it's realistic and appealing quality. I don't see it as negative. The prospect of finding, acquiring, keeping, and nurturing love not just for another person but also myself? Daunting. 0+

How is your hate working for you?

I feel truly sorry for people in the construction industry. Most of them, nearly every one of them are sad. They choose insecurity and ignorance, and wonder why their lives are filled with obstacles while they dish out hate to anyone not like them. Well, when your go-to is to openly hate people that you don't bother to get to know, you are begging for misfortune and people like me are happy to oblige. You don't know who the person you act mean to is or what they do, but when I meet people like them, especially ones who mention the company they work for, I flag them at work. These are the same people who come with hat in hand and wonder why people like me in power say "no". I don't just do that, I make sure to spread the word to other contacts and all relevant organizations. I don't bother with social media, I talk to industry contacts. No, not talk to them...warn them. So, next time you look for favours and someone says they can't help you, know that there's a pretty good chance you've screwed yourself indefinitely.

I feel

I feel that customer service has gone downhill. They make you wait for so long and they rarely solve a problem.

Dear parents

I can only speak through my own experiences, however I’d like to offer some advice to those out there who have children with Autism. Don’t force your children to want friends. If they want friends, put them in a situation where they’ll be able to find some. Once they feel comfortable, then they’ll gradually learn the ropes on their own. If your kids don’t like something, there’s a good chance they never will, especially if you keep pushing it upon them. Leave them to find their own interests and they’ll be happier about themselves.

I ran away from home when I was ten.

I ran away from home when I was ten. I stayed away for a day and a half. My folks were plenty worried. I had unpleasant and frightening experiences which, in today's world, would have had very serious consequences, death being not an unlikely one of them. When I went home, because I could not imagine a way that staying away could work for me, at that time, my folks treated me well for a while, but then it was back to the way it was. The next time I ran away, years later, I had a better plan, and I never went home again.


You offered to let me in line before you

There was a long line at the coffee shop, at work. You offered to let me in before you, but I...

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