Search confessions

I'm worried I will become a dog parent

I hate it how people have dogs instead of kids. I see that coming into my life shortly though. I've given up on dating, but I love animals and need to show affection somehow. Single male life today. If only I was rich and owned a house. That's all that seems to matter to people in Vancouver. Oddly enough, I'd rather splurge for a nice place for an animal that doesn't size me up that way. Yes, animals are better than people in many ways. They don't have that shallowness to them. Oh well, at least I have more money than an arts major ever will. Ironically, they demand perfection.

Frustrating expectations

I used to absolutely love my job but as of this week I’m questioning the weird sh!t they’re asking us to do. There are occasional new tasks and I’m trying to be positive but some things might be totally inappropriate. I know it’s to save money. It’s not nice working there anymore. My first job with mostly great colleagues. Funny awesome smart people. Thought I was gonna retire here. I want to work somewhere else until this weirdness is done. Have a feeling this kinda stuff will go on for years though. I’ll stand up for myself as I draw the line at backbreaking work. I don’t want to possibly become injured from this and have my whole exciting life ahead of me. What are they thinking?! Save a buck, possibly hurt extremely valuable employees who were hired to do desk work not physical labor. I’m not lazy, I give 110% effort every day. Please don’t make me leave. I need a vacation. This makes me want to take up drinking, just kidding. (Sorry, that’s not funny.) Thank you.

I used to write letters

I’ve stopped trying to explain my feelings because it’s pointless for the person I used to write to most often. It’s when you stop arguing with a partner because you realize that it’s futile that you know it’s over. I’ve been battling the desire to send them another letter explaining how I feel, and I’ve won the battle so far. They’re never going to understand or care, so I’ll just save myself the trouble. Sometimes there is no closure, and as difficult as that may be to accept, it’s just the way it is.

I really thought…

We were past this. But your remark yesterday made me realize how completely wrong I was. Your daily visits you explain to me… really haves different motives/reasons that you exclude me from. But really when I think about it, it’s completely foolish I did not see it earlier…The heart clouds the head

Cleaning Snow

It is a shame most small streets do not get clean and salt so I am unable to work and take partner to work too, there is no buses close and yet BC and the federals sending money to a war that is not even ours Shame on the City shame on the PM

Healthy purging

We all should be with someone who makes us feel good and good about ourselves. Proving I could do that stopped feeling good when he went out of his way to prove how incapable he is; to do so means it's not all about him, which is not in his wheelhouse apparently. He won't change, nor does he see any value in thoughtful introspection, personal accountability (he genuinely doesn't think he ever has to apologize...or even knows how to, come to think of it), or self-improvement. Rather, he brings out a side of me that I don't want to have. He once inspired me to try to be better so I could be my best for him, and now, with each act of selfishness, he inspires me to be malevolent in my candor to hold a mirror to all that he really is. I may be very good at that... a natural, in fact... but that's not who or how I want to be nor is he a person I want to give my valuable energy to in reviving that side of me. I left behind my past to get away from people who gleefully fostered that cruel gift so I could be a person that I liked that made others feel good. The last thing I want is someone to resuscitate that homegrown talent to entertain their boredom. The more I think about it, the less I want to think of him. The less I do, the less I desire him, and, for once, that finally feels good. I welcome every aspect of his essence to fade into the past to make room for everything that is better, healthier and more joyful. And so it is.

Hate saying I told you so

Because it means I failed at explaining the problem of your situation in a way that you would understand to make the correct change

Many men are single

Because men are bloody exhausted. Its so damn tiring to keep up with all the expectations from every direction. Men are taking a time out. We need rest. Deal with it.

I use food to feel safe.

I overeat and have gained weight to feel safe. I don't really understand why extra weight helps me feel safer, I just know it does. I keep little stockpiles of granola bars and herbal tea in my desk drawer, my bag, my bedroom closet. I just need to know it's there in order to feel a sense of security. Otherwise everything would feel like it's spinning out of control.

Gave up on an old friend

Years ago it became apparent that a friend of mine was getting Alzheimer's. He is an alcoholic and a drunk. I told him I'd keep an eye on him. But then it turned into fact free confidence with a heavy dose of narcississm. He became very, very tRUMP-like, holding firm on "facts" that were made up only seconds prior. It became just way too much to bare and I've ghosted him and will until the end. I just recently saw an article about getting over the inclination to save others. Been there, done that. Never again. My advice? Save yourself, if others start slipping, just let them slip.


Canucks vs LA Kings - Arena ,...

We met standing by the glass, behind the Canucks bench at the Canucks LA Kings game in LA last...

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