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restraining order threats

You huffed and puffed about a restraining order, but in all those times I went to counselling to fix problems you said I had, you didn't realize my counsellor connected me with a lawyer and the police. At first because I wanted to fix being a jerk, which I admit I was. But as time went by, and you kept threatening me with restraining orders and things you thought would scare me, and kept keeping my emails to use against me... you didn't realize what you were doing was, by law, "communication." You can not converse with someone and only use their words against them. Thanks to you, I learned this in spades. I used your manipulation against you, you've just been too blind to see it.

At war with my better self

Every day of the last six months I have been at war with myself. Every day I have to push you out of my head. Your almost black eyes full of wonder and your dark voice shivering up my spine. Every time you come into my space I have to clamp down on myself like a vice. And yes, I avoid you now. I have to. Because I’m wrecked by the effort.

Misuse of "needy"

A stupid go-to. How does wanting to communicate become this negative label? You know the root cause of problems in any relationship? Unwillingness to talk. Don't ptivately whine to yourself about things going south when you're the root cause.

Dark clouds follow

I have suicidal thoughts almost every day for the last 12 years. The only thing preventing it is that my parents are still around. I don’t want them to lose a second child, but when they are gone so am I.


It really surprises me how many people can't solve problems that come up. In my work I'm usually the person to figure these weird things out. I don't really like being in that role, but when people are hit with a problem they drop everything and say "I don't know what to do" well I don't either, but I can look at something and make an effort. Guess that's lost on a lot of you

home alone

It’s another night with myself and a big empty house. My family is on spring break vacation and I join them soon...but it is lovely alone for a few more days! Yay. I never knew I needed alone time until now. =) who needs a salt cave. Popcorn, my device and Netflix please.

Poverty reduction

Sorry folks but don’t wait for the government to step in to fix everything. It won’t happen. Poverty is due to a host of factors - some of which you can actually do something about instead of waiting for some magic to happen. There’s even an old lady who dumpster dives and gets about $15-20 daily in bottles that she donates to charity. $15 x 30 days is $450 which isn’t bad money and it’s all there for free. Of course it doesn’t help that single mother who has no prospects of doing the same while juggling 2 jobs to pay rent and daycare...but you should not rely on the government. They make promises and that’s what gets them elected. They should gave an automatic mechanism that fires them from their government jobs if they don’t achieve 50% of their promise after 1-2 years. Then the runner up gets a crack at it....

Bitter sweet summer

I am so conflicted by the arrival of summer. I love the sun, and feel the city lift noticeably. But when I see all the people enjoying each others company, it sharpens the pang of loneliness


I work in a large company and sometimes we have to take training courses. Many people I don’t know because they are at other sites. Why does the teacher always ask us to divulge personal shit about ourselves to the class? I don’t want to tell everyone how many pets I have or what I do on the weekends. Just teach the class and leave me alone.


What the heck are sundries anyway?!

You: a taller, more handsome Cillian Murphy doppelgänger. ...

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