Search confessions

You're insane

You probably think this tap is about you

Love for loves sake

I love you. Im also infatuated with you. I know all the practical reasons that the infatuation aspect is stupid but it doesn’t make it go away. I’m poly, and I’m pretty sure you’re monogamous and I know that we’re friends and I can’t tell you without risking our friendship. I know that I’m not what your looking for but my brain doesn’t seem to care even if I rationalize or distract it with my busy life. I love your face, your laugh, the way your mind works, your sense of humour, your inventiveness, your kindness and the nerdy things about you. I am torn between wanting those feelings to go away and just enjoying being around you. You’ve given me no reason to believe you have any interest in me so if I don’t figure out how to handle my limeremce, at some point I will have to slightly disappear from your life for a while. I will be responsible and keep everything in check because we have a mutual friend group but I have to say I sure wish I didn’t have to. I wish I could tell you.

I’m turning into my mom

I’ve started to drink instant coffee like her because I can’t stand the idea of one Starbucks coffee at $5 each. I’m happy to stay at home this long Easter weekend because I can’t summon the strength to plan, plot and execute a weekend of out-of-town fighting long weekend out-of-town traffic. I understand now why my mom would just lie in bed after a long day at work and ask me to massage her legs. My daily grind is exhausting and all I want to do when I get home is put on my old sweatshirt and shorts and flake out. My mom would never show up empty-handed. She always brought something to the party even if it was modest. And I do this too, bringing treats to my friends or siblings or the deserving coworker. She grew up in an era of scarcity and still to this day will save glass jars and plastic containers for future re-use. The extra stuff would drive me bonkers in my small living space, but I try and re-use like she does and getting off the never ending treadmill of buying and throwing stuff out. The one thing that I won’t repeat of hers though is eating Kraft Singles. Life is too short for process cheese.

I just don’t care red

I just don’t care about the people complaining they can’t affoed a home in vancouver. Just like I don’t care if they can’t afford in Whistler, Zurich, New York etc etc. Some cities are expensive. You get what you can offer in life. Good news is you are allowed to work harder and earn more.

The stigma? Really?

Every 4/20, the same thing: a mass cluster of obnoxious lazy inebriated do-nothings litter, make huge messes, get in the face of the public and make it easier for problem people to come out of the woodwork. Pot is drugs. DRUGS, people. A natural, watered down form of acid that fucks up the developing brains of anyone under 25 years old. A disinhibitor increasing chances of irresponsible sexual behaviour. It makes it easy to do nothing but lie around on its own, but many of the yahoos doing in on 4/20 day are mixing it with other drugs and/or drinking, which turns that peaceful high into nasty aggressive behavior. That "stigma" is well-earned. You want the right to fuck up your mind and your life is one thing, but to take it outside and impose it on the public AND force us to pay for the cleanup on top of it is a whole different matter. Vancouver is not spring break in Florida. You got legal rights and there are dispensaries, and a plan to allow edibles on the way. Nothing to protest here. Take your addiction and keep it...along with the noise, public disturbances, public urination and littering... to yourself. There's a stigma for a reason: your inability to control yourselves in public. You earn this.

We're learning nothing from history

Repetition tricks the mind to think it's group concensus. Politicians do it a lot. I fear that the Conservatives want power at any cost. I fear that the Conservative media combines this repetition trick with the excessive broadcasting of fear while appealing to base greed. Look at the trolls on here, repeating hate over and over. These sway people. It worked in the USA, and I fear that it's working here too. I fear that the Conservatives know that, and are imitating the same tricks that Trump does to gain power. We all think we're different from the USA, that we'd never make the same mistakes. Guess again; Ontario and Alberta are showing us otherwise. I think we are just like the USA, and fear that the Conservatives want it this way. I fear that they have deals with the US Republicans for personal profit, even if it means selling Canada's soul, pushing for two-tier health care and cuts in education to appease their masters south of the border. I fear that Canada is losing itself, and that when we figure it out it will be too late.

Accept responsibility

Sometimes people tend to act like their farts don’t stink. Well I’m not ashamed of admitting how and my farts smell. This morning I farted in a taxi on my way to work. And it stunk so bad! My stomach was growling. Pooooooo! I’m surprised that the cab driver didn’t blink or even open his windows. So if you fart, own it. Just own up to it.

We are the same

Because I am one too. You are covert, I am not. What attracts you is what terrifies you. We feed each other precisely what we desire, and can cut each other down to zero. We get hurt and vow to walk away, then heal rapidly and dream of a different future where we're in each others' arms. We fear each other yet desire each other just as badly. I am a different version of just like you. Two narcissists, an unspoken understanding. So tempting, yet so dangerous. I am repulsed by you and know you want me, both to have my lovebombing and to make me feel your rage because I choose to remind you of your secret shame. We took different paths to get where we are, but we're both there. You know it.

Scary thugs

I see them every week, a cluster of thugs. Menacing, unfriendly and deliberately intimidating. They take over a cluster of chairs around the same time in Yaletown at the Urban Fare like a gang of bullies. Muscled up, tattooed. Friendliness is shot down. Yes, I'm talking about you, VPD. I don't feel safe seeing these particular ones congregate. My gut tells me this pack hanging out there is bad news. They're not like other police. They cast a dark vibe.

I wish

That when a company passes you over for a job, they told you something more than "We're going in a different direction"


Ice Col Dreams

You waiting in line at matchstick Chinatown then crossing the street in shades, me post boxing...

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