So I gently – gently because even returning a wrong-size blouse makes my friend cry – asked my best friend of 15 years if there is some reason that I am not welcome at my friend's hobby group. I explained that we both love this hobby and it would be funfor me to meet others with the same interest. The friend immediately said that I am welcome to come and the friend's eyes got that wet, red look of stress. I said, “Great! When is the next get-together?” The friend was “not too sure” but would “let me know”. Having heard this a million times before, I gently said, “I've asked a lot in the past and if there's some reason I shouldn't be there, you can tell me. We're friends.” The friend said of course not with that flushed tearful look in the eyes. When the friend was in the bathroom, I rummaged through the friend's hobby kit and found a name of someone in the group. Next day I looked that person up on facebook and sent a message introducing myself. I didn't mention my bestie, just said that I saw some of her craftwork online and liked it. We're meeting for coffee to share hobby photos tomorrow. I can't wait! I'm so glad to meet someone new who shares my interest in crafts. Best day ever! Now I can join the group without putting any pressure on my best friend who tends to over-react too small things.
They say if your answer is yes, then you are ready to be in a relationship. My answer is no. I’ve been told that I’m very likeable in appearance and personable. I am loving, considerate, witty, playful and have a good heart. But I don’t make enough money!
I feel I’m not good enough to have a relationship with someone if I don’t have the extra money to enjoy life with someone. And I noticed now lots of guys want someone to share 50% of all the bills. I don’t have any debt, never had any in my life, but I also don’t own a place or a car. I rely all on myself. I can only pay for all my survival and little bit of extra expenses. I gave up on wanting a boyfriend or a partner because of this reason. Because I don’t earn enough. It’s a bit sad because I know I am a wonderful human being and can put in a lot in a relationship.
I was seeing this guy that I was completely in love with on and off for a couple of years, but he was never willing to move anything to the next level, and he never said he loved me either. I was losing interest in being available for this guy’s constant game playing, so when another guy started showing a lot of interest in me, I was intrigued. I wound up ending things with Mr unavailable (not because of the other guy, but because we just fought too much and nothing was changing) and was single for a couple of months before I agreed to go out with the other guy just to see how I would feel. After 2-3 dates with the other guy I realized that I just wasn’t feeling it, so I stopped seeing him, and never dated him again. The first guy and I wound up seeing each other again a few months later, but it never led to anything solid and we split up for good. I recently had a conversation with him about what went down between us and he still believes that I “cheated” on him. But how can you cheat on someone who treats you like a casual f-buddy? He even called me his friend, not his girlfriend, but he still expected me to act like his wife or something! The audacity of someone to think that they own you, even if they don’t really want you themselves, is unbelievable.
I am beyond upset with the Residential Tenancy Branch. I was given a eviction notice and I disputed it. I had a hearing awhile back and my Landlord who owns 20 properties was treated way better than me. The Landlord never gave me his address and by the time I got it going through the proper channels it took forever and then I had to send it by Registered Mail and he wasn't there to receive it and picked it up 5 days later and by then my evidence was late. So they didn't hear my evidence at all because its late. Meanwhile he only provided texts and evidence in such a manner that it made me seem like I was crazy. He didn't do anything to fix like 10 items but only showed the evidence when he fixed things to make it seem like he was doing everything to help me. There was literally one instance when he was scheduled to fix things and I had to cancel and he used that to say I wouldn't provide him access to the suite. Then he shows receipts from Home Depot for a new exhaust fan, a new toilet, a new kitchen sink, etc to show he purchased the items but I wouldn't let him in the suite to fix them. I am trying to explain to them that he owns 20 properties so the receipts don't mean anything because they could be for the other properties but they didn't listen. He came in the summer when its like 35 degrees and I was wearing a sports bra and booty shorts and he has this text to me where he said I was dressed inappropriately. I can dress however I want in my place. He provided something like 100 pages of evidence that was dated, with page numbers, and a table of contents. He even had like a timeline of events. I just thought it would be more like a discussion instead of a full blown court case.
I am just so upset and don't know what to do because he got an order of possession so I am evicted.
I’m done with fake anything or crumbs of love and affection. I’m totally capable of living alone and no way I’m going to sacrifice the peace I’ve finally found for somebody else’s comfort. I don’t care if they think I should settle for a half-assed facsimile of a relationship just because they think it’s better than being alone. Not for me it isn’t. I’ve felt more alone in a bad relationship than I’ve ever felt by myself.
For some reason, this has been socially accepted once again. There was a time where sexy and cute outfits were shunned as being slutty and degrading women. However, feminists today seem to get with it more than not. I like how women feel comfortable dressing up in 60s cos-play Star Trek uniforms now. There's something very fun about it.
This morning I saw a heartbreaking sight: a man on Ontario Street in about his 30s yanked a dog's chain and pulled so hard the dog spun backwards. I saw you do this a few times, and you growled and screamed angrily NO. As you marched fast down the sidewalk like a big important man. You know what? You're not. Your poor dog - a beautiful brown fluffy border collie/lab cross with a red harness - just wanted to sniff the ground. And every time you yanked the chain your smart dog thought it was a game, and it smiled. :( Dude. I watched you go down the alley. If I see you again I'll film you and call the BCSPCA. You're hurting your dog and everyone can see you. Get help.
I’m trying. Connecting and building community isn’t easy. Finding the people who feel a certain way and resonate. It takes time. But I just want to feel like home. Like Cheers. Where everyone knows you at a level no one else gets to. It’s expensive in more ways than one. Presently, I learn through suffering.
I like calling out. As I get older, I find I have less tolerance for people's bullshit and say what is on my mind. Without communication there's little chance of change.
Telling someone you’re sorry they feel that way or you’re sorry they’re in pain isn’t an apology. If someone has told you in explicit detail what it was that you did that caused them to not want to be with you, ignoring all of that and refusing to acknowledge or accept any accountability is classic sociopathic behaviour. So if this happens to you with more than one person, and you still don’t get it, I think you’re the problem.