I have a fear of skiing because I don't want to run into a tree or get eaten by a bear.
It's exhausting wearing a mask. I wish I could be myself and vulnerable with more people. I want someone to hold space for all of me. Or to just hold me. Or reach out to me. I'm so deeply lonely it scares me sometimes, but I haven't given up hope. Thankful for my counsellor.
Was so awful, with my family, that I know that this Xmas, and every other going forward, can only be better. Even if I'm sitting alone in front of the TV with a TV dinner.
It was made before I was born, & not only is it witty, charming & delightfully hilarious, it's also like stepping into a time machine to the 1970's. Life was stressful then too -- Vietnam War, skyrocketing inflation, Watergate, the Oil Crisis. But laughter & friendship go a long way towards getting through things.
Working your ass of on a dying planet with no future. I just want to volunteer to help people and clean the oceans.
I forgive all those who've ever hurt me, as well as apologize to all those I've likewise hurt -- dead and alive. I don't want to harbor anger, pain, or hurt inside of me anymore, and let it fester like a diabetic wound that never fully heals. I above all forgive myself, all my imperfections, and all my mistakes. I know I'm no saint. Every last mishap - be it big or small - has been a teacher; thus, I'm thankful. It's time to move on, mentally, physically, and spatially... and appreciate what I do have rather than pine over what I don't, and over "what ifs." I want to share love -- even with my worst enemy (for they, too, must must be writhing with pain inflicted upon them by others, or themselves!). I wish those who've come and gone from my life well; I wish myself well, too. No more looking back. No more guilt. No more "if only I'd have..." I also want to be proud of and openly wear my genuine flaws rather than spend all my energy on trying to mask them with fake perfection (a draining and never ending task). Peace to all, and to me, and to this world. What's done is done. Life's short -- and beautiful, if you choose to seek beauty in the ugly. I'm now at peace with me, and gone. Amen.
I don’t know why but two acquaintances, whom I see twice a year each (meaning not a close relationship at all) like to bring up each time I see them how small my home is. Yeah, it’s small because I can’t afford anything larger in Vancouver. It’s 450 sq feet of condo. It’s paid off so I’m living pretty stress free. But for these acquaintances to bring it up and rub it in my face every 6 months sucks. I do t comment or question anyone else’s living situation. I guess they just need to feel superior over me in square footage.
I miss everything about raising them. I wish with all my heart that I could have a do-over. Empty nest seriously does hurt. I miss my children…
As much as I love the holiday season, I really hate some things that come with it. People just act so fucking crazy out in public. For example, especially around this time of year, when I'm at the store getting my regular groceries I just want to go in, buy what I need, and head home. Stores are understandably crowded, and yet some folks tend not to be paying any attention to their surroundings or where they are going. That results in getting cut off or run into multiple times (like 5 - 6 times) and these people don't even have the good grace to acknowledge it. And then there's the aggressiveness to get at things. I mean these are adults fighting over items on a shelf! I just shake my head and walk away. I feel like they need a good whack with a broom to wake them up. Every year it's just one giant cluster fuck I want to avoid.
I just disabled my Facebook account. I button mashed a new password and saved it before disabling my account. I don't know the password and I am cool with that.