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I failed today

A very high up person on the organization chart was fired today. I went to say goodbye and he was crying in his office. Because he was so unemotional in his job, I was flummoxed and didn’t know what to do. Even though it wasn’t me who was crying I felt so uncomfortable and left after saying a few nice words. I’m kicking myself now and wish I put aside my feelings and offered something to this crying man... I wish I asked him if he wanted to step out for a coffee or beer. I feel like I should’ve been a friend at that moment and let the hierarchical differences fade away. I’ve never seen a man crying at work before and I failed miserably at making a very sad human being today feel a little less lonely and devastated. I’m sorry... I wish I could rewind and redo today.

I'm doin it

Spent far too long wallowing in self pitty, waiting for things to happen the way i want them to. Recently came to the realization that i could actually do some things to possibly help things turn out the way i want to ( also the realization that i am kind of dumb for taking so long to realize this). The realist in me points out, that since it took so long for me to reach this conclusion, some dynamics may have changed, and things may not play out how i want. But i feel so much better knowing that i am actually trying to make a difference. Even if it is too late.

Off of online dating 2, on to online dating 1

I've made the switch from OkCupid to POF because they don't even let people communicate anymore... online dating sites like Tinder charging $50 a month for being able to talk to people and match with them? So ridiculous. I'd definitely rather meet people in person.

In response to society

What if I'd rather kill myself than let oppression do it slowly and painfully? Is that really so unreasonable?

My friends are idiots

I know it sounds harsh. But I am coming to realize that some of my friends are really fucking stupid. Sure they can hold down jobs and relationships, but they say the most horrible things and can’t think critically at all. They tell the same stupid stories over and over. One of them actually defends an outspoken racist! Ugh. I need a change. I need to get out of here.

Hope

Someone once tried to convince me that there is no such thing as hope. Then what else is there. Never believed it for a second. Hope Sometimes its all you have.

Bad Respiratory Hygiene

Given the spread of coronavirus and widely available information from health authorities on hygiene practices, I don't understand how people can still cough and sneeze into their hands, instead of into a tissue or their elbow. It's just proper hygiene to begin with, along with hand washing and staying at home when ill. It makes me think that they're just a bunch of inconsiderate assholes.

I haven't been kissed

or made love to for almost 10 yrs. I'm a female, aged almost 70, divorced 20 yrs. I've met several men who I felt attracted to since my divorce but only one reciprocated and then later admitted that he was still married, not separated as he had led me to believe. The last man I felt something for has just recently made it known that he is a confirmed bachelor after several months of getting to know him and me flirting. I'm an attractive professional woman, fit, kind, funny, and I would like to think somewhat sexy. This last rejection has really left me in a slump and I fear that I will never be with anyone again as I'm not so young anymore. I know there are still other things in life that are fun and lots of people like the single life but I always have been one to like romance and intimacy and it feels pretty empty to think that this might be the end of it for me.

This is weird

I feel guilty for watching the programs we recorded to watch together. I know it’s irrational because it’s my tv and they’re not coming back, but every time I watch one I get sad.

I SAW YOU

Cutie asks for a light

total dime. Brittney made my day. in front of bud shop on Main n terminal. Let's do dinner.

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