Things have been so sad lately that I put on 10 Carrot Diamond - yes, a children's song album from 1985.
Middle aged, only one freind (I do know she's busy what with being a single mom so I can't expect her to get to me always) anyways on disability (mental health shit) no girlfriend, stuck in a North Vancouver, bored, people ghost me, I attract the people I don't want to attract, sick of the internet & tv & you know it was even before the pandemic, time is running out & I can't take it (btw I have been told to join a group or volunteer or take a class yet people who tell me that don't do that)..... anyway that's all.
A year ago i had the worst broken heart. I lived with the hurt and tried to move on. Healing is hard. I was given constant updates on horrible things my ex kept saying. I tried dating. Hook ups. Horrible. I wished it were a bad dream. Then when i least expected it….BAM…. Someone AMAZING came along. Someone i never thought could exist. I cant stop smiling. I never knew LOVE before. I know that now.
I started a new job this year. And it's unlike any work environment I've ever been in. Their Covid protocols have been weak with no one wearing a mask inside an office of 20 ppl. Because of this, I am double masked, and feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. Normally I am very social esp. at a new workplace, but I don't want to sit and each lunch with any of my new colleagues because I'm so worried about Omicron. Those random coffee walks with colleagues of workplaces past? Just can't get into it even if we're all masked. A water cooler chat is weird with masks. I still do it to make an effort, but I don't feel like I'm getting to know people when I can't see 2/3 of their faces. And because their Covid protocols have been weak, people have gotten Covid, then they cleared out the office. WFH for the next month or 2 now. Suffice to say starting a new job with a pandemic in full throttle is a strange experience.
I know I shouldn’t stare into the microwave to see how my food is doing. But..
I do it anyway. I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to watch Pizza Pops to see if they pop/explode in your microwave…. Idk I prefer taquitos.
I can’t remember how to do long division.
This is a PSA.
I prefer to support local businesses, but if the staff and owners refuse to wear masks, I don't return to their shop.
I came across a video on how to braid your long hair into Gimli's beard. What I was actually searching for were images of "Legolas braiding Gimli's beard" on the internet because, well, you know.
It's a hard road that leads to nowhere and aspirational outcomes notwithstanding this is it. I now know I'll never make parole. Dying in prison wasn't the way I thought the story would end but comes a time when all you can do is read 'em and weep. This shitshow sure blows
I want and need to get back in shape this year. I know my diagnosis can change at anytime, but I'm not giving up. I've already been cooking at home and eating healthier, but haven't settled into regular exercise. I want to be and feel healthier. I want to feel sexy again too. I don't have to go to the gym 6 days a week like back in my twenties, but it would be nice to fit in a walk outside every morning and swimming twice a week. Best of luck to all in the same boat wanting something better.
I saw my hairstylist recently. When I sat in her chair, she said “I guess nothing’s new with you.” Which I assume she thinks my life is a complete bore. I think I’m going to break up with her because I don’t want to see her and have her judge everything I say.