Confessions

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Going to burn in hell for eternity

When you buy bananas, they are the same price whether you buy one or ten. So it is ok to separate them. Celery is not like this. There are different prices for the bunch and for single stocks. Sometimes when I buy celery, I take off one or two stalks off the bunch and put them with the singles. I don't need the whole bunch, this way I get most of a bunch without having any left over and throwing it away. I feel guilty about this every time I do it.

Is baseball good for my health?

I started playing it during the summer and I am pretty sure I put on weight. I don't think this is a sport.

Before my partner freaks out...

I rush home sometimes,because I forgot to do a simple task she asked me to do before we leave for work. I'll even leave work early to do the dishes before she steps through the door. She has a huge OCD about cleaning,and shes been under alot of stress. So I try and make sure theres one less thing at home to freak her out . Funny thing is,no matter what,theres always something else I forget to do.(why wont you write it down?) Because I forget where I write things down. Meet the human goldfish

Bad year is an understatement

It's bad enough I lost my home, dreams, partner, savings, mental & physical health, friends, cat, vehicle, and livelihood (even got scammed for a grand on a lease) this year but now I have to kill the thing that I love the most in this world - my dog.

Midlife

I'm just a lumpy potato now.

Realized too late I was loved in return

And realized too late that a song for a certain person would be Someone Like You. (heard it twice, in 2 different stores, yesterday... and thought of him) Songs for Lost Loves~~

FML

Some people are skinny, and if they want to improve their physique they can lift weights. Some people are overweight, and they could focus on losing weight. Me? I am both skinny and fat at the same time! What the hell am I supposed to do? FML

Nice

I shrunk enough to fit back into my pants from two years ago.

I have a dirty secret.

I've been stealing the occasional rice crispy squares from my kids lunches for the past 4 years,and I've pitted them against each other in the blame game

Feet take over

Tastes change dramatically when you get older. I don't get turned on by a beautiful face or ass. I used to be a shapely breast enthusiast. Those thigs are interesting now, but don't instantly turn me on like feet. I want to talk to the woman with the sexy mules, showing her soles as she walks. I've become obsessed with athletic pantyhosed legs and sexy high heels. I even love the glorious clicking sound heels make when a beautiful woman strides down the street.

I SAW YOU

Our community bike shop

You were hanging at our community bike shop on main by broadway perusing the parts section and...

EPITAPHS

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