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I was “alone” (think Seinfeld) and afterwards listened to seminal hard rock anthem Dr Feelgood from Mötley Crüe. It sounded better and was already an awesome song to begin with!!!

I

Think I need a third party's advice on a situation that I can't seem to move on from. I'm having trouble asking for assistance or advice. " Help " I guess. Wow I had trouble even typing the word. Am I afraid that once the ball is rolling. It's really rolling..... It needs to roll. Time

Luxury yacht employee with dirty secret

I was working on a luxury charter yacht sometime in the 00s. It was a lot of fun and we dealt with very eccentric people. One night we were hosting a family reunion for quite a large international family. There were nationalities present. I was bartending that night and had the pleasure of conversing with them. Thru out the night I met an odd elderly couple from Australia. The woman looked like a bedazzled Miss Frizzle and the husband like any regular bloke. The woman would come to the bar and drink nothing but grandmarnier. After about 2-3 hours into the cruise the woman came up to me and asked if had seen her Australian flag tote bag. She said it had her thongs(flipflops), purse and cellphone in it. The staff team took this request quite seriously and started to search all three decks. After an extensive search there was still no sign of the bag. Where could it be right? She would keep coming up to ask us if we had found it. Mind you she had finished half a bottle of GM. We started to assume she was crazy and had dementia. I was the biggest factor in this accusation as I had started the whole discussion. Even going as far as making jokes about her dementia... She was really annoying tho... Nearing the end of cruise underneath the lions gate bridge I was relieved of my bar duties, I decided to take my camera and take some photos of the starry night from the top deck. I walked out onto the deck, everyone had gone inside, it was just the jazz musicians gathering their belongings. We chat a bit and I help them take down some tables they were using. As I pulled the table cloth off one of the tables, something caught my eye. I looked underneath and there it was...... The fucking bag she was looking for. I look inside and sure enough the contents are confirmed hers. I remembered all the jokes I had made and couldn’t bring myself to recant them and assume error. Then all of a sudden without any hesitation my brain told my arm to grab the bag and throw it off the side and into the ocean. It landed with a small splash and sunk like a sack of potatoes. I wonder if she ever became crazy causeof me.....

Contrary to popular belief

I’m not a recluse as some people think. I just avoid the clubs, pubs and bars at all costs because that stuff is not my scene. I prefer to spend time doing my usual routines such as working out at the gym, going grocery shopping and getting a hair cut.

Not Satisfactory

Years ago a woman who works as an instructor refused to go out with me so I wrote poor teaching evaluations for her online. I feel bad about it now.

Moving To Montreal

The first thing people say is: "It's cold" Then they ask "Do you speak french?" I mention I can afford to buy a place there and they shut up. The wheels start turning.

Coming down with the flu

I can remember some seriously sick person coughing on my on the #14 three days ago too... Fuck. I hate sick people on the bus.

Beer store tantrum

Pouring out the tip jar in front of my face because I didn’t tip you for ringing in a 20 dollar bottle of booze? I work in the service industry and work damn hard. I know how to tip. That was laughable, thanks for making my day.

It's me making it difficult for you!

I take the bus. At the first stop on the south side of one of the local bridges, there is a person who gets on, with regularity, during the weekday rush. This person is insistent on bashing their way through to the back of the bus. The bus is always packed and it's a struggle to move around to accommodate this person. As well, they never says "excuse me". 9 times out of 10- there is no seat waiting for this person and the high-and-mighty effort they made to get to the back of the bus was rude, unnecessary and often challenging for those pushed out of the way. The thing is, if this person waited 1 stop- 1 stop!- the bus would clear and they would have their pick of seats. I confess to blocking this persons path and/or making it difficult for them to push their way past me. Wait your turn and you'll get to your precious seat.

You can learn a lot

Breaking up with someone you love is one of the most painful experiences one can go through. So there’s got to be a very good reason why someone would choose to do it. From my own experience with one person (on and off relationship), I’ve learned that you can learn more about a person’s character by how they behave in a breakup than just about anything else that they do. If someone has been insensitive in the actual relationship, count on them ramping up that behaviour 100%. If they’ve been cold and unemotional, same thing. So paying close attention to this particular situation is extremely important, so that the difficult decision you made to end things in the first place can teach you never to repeat it again. I think I’ve finally learned my lesson.

I SAW YOU

Two Parrots bar bathroom

I rolled into the bathroom or Two Parrots and you and your friend wanted to touch my hair. You...

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