I work as a manager at a high-end condo complex and the chickens are coming home to roost for people who have had their investment condos sitting empty, or were using them for illegal vacation rentals. I had a few people asking me to write letters for them to submit to CRA because they're being nailed by the empty homes tax and they want me to lie for them, to the revenue agency, telling them their suites were occupied. When I tell them "no", I don't want to get involved in their personal, financial affairs, I get e-mails, boy do I get e-mails, angry all-caps or sarcastic replies. I use to be afraid of people being angry or having bad opinions of me but I just don't care anymore, screw them.
I work as a shelter worker in a high barrier shelter for a Christian organization (or shall I say corporation) and I don't think I want to continue in this line of work. I originally signed up to help people, but I feel I am more of a baby sitter working at a homeless shelter where hospitals dump their patients' with severe mental health issues. None of us are equipped to deal with psychosis and behavioral issues. I had good intentions in this field but I am too burnt out to go on.
I never wanted to have a kid. I never understood the aura around marriage and weddings.
But I watched as the people I knew all got married. I saw their life updates when they had a child. Now they are all starting to separate or divorce. It all seems painful and dramatic and expensive to me. I think I made the right choices not doing these things but by not participating in the usual life course I am kind of excluded from social circles with those who are 'normal.'
I feel lost and behind in life this year. Most of my past school friends are married with kids while I've moved back in with the parents. They're about to retire so the situation has been a good bonding exercise, but it has exacted a toll on my sanity. I just want to hang out with people in my age group again.
I buy parts to use on future projects but I keep losing them. I'll buy parts months in advance for that one day when I get the urge to build the project and by that time I've already cleaned up certain areas in my house and parts get thrown into an area where I'd think I'd look when I need to find them but those areas are disorganized and it discourages me from finding them. What I need are compartments that I can put my little parts in so I can find them easily later. I do this to myself. It bugs the h-e-double hockey sticks outta me. I gotta be better and get organized.
And I just want to get really drunk tonight and listen to loud music.
Sometimes I get so lonesome that I might actually talk to Mormon Missionaries.
when you know your husband or boyfriend so well that you can tell he's checking out younger girls when you go for walks when they aren't making it blatantly obvious. I mean he doesn't think I notice and I'm not going to bring it up since it sounds completely ridiculous but it does make me feel like shit.
I’d really like to see pictures of things I’ve lost along the way and where they went. I’m not good at keeping things. That is all.
for two depressed persons to date. if you could call it dating, even. intrigued and intimidated by one another, countless efforts to send the clear sign and many devil advocates to doubt upon receiving.
being safe inside is nice but not that part about being alone with the eternal onslaught of thoughts.