I came home and found my landlord at the top of the stairs in front of my door with a flashlight...
I am stuck with my family through this. In your 40's it blows. It's cliche and it blows. But the second 6 months are on me. I saw a member struggling, knew the risks and tried to help anyways. Can I complain that the last 6 months have been unbelievably awful? I can. But it doesn't it better. I can cause pain, or curl up in a little turtle shell riding out the next month and a bit. Choice is mine, but family drama is as old as time itself. I have to remember that.
I ditched my girlfriend at beginning of this year. She turned out to be a manipulative psychopath that tried to fuck up my life. Her whole family is fucked in the head and I learned that they are nothing but a bunch of money hungry con artists. I can’t stress enough just how good it feels to weed all the useless garbage out of my life and take better control of my own. They say in life you have to live by the three C’s: cool, calm and collected. As far as my ex is concerned, I live by the three G’s: goodbye, good luck and good riddance.
I got sick of partners complaining about me cooking for them all the time.
I had to help train a new coworker via zoom. It was our first time meeting, just the two of us in the zoom room.
We spent about two hours covering the material, interspersed with some social chatter.
I felt like we got along really well, and if we didn't work together I'd be trying to find out if they're single, or at least ask them out to a workday lunch. Felt like an instant crush!
But I'm realizing now that it was probably just my brain tricking me with some kind of happy hormones.
Turns out that was the longest conversation/interaction I've had with a new person since at least last March.
I like my alone time, but this has been a lot of alone time. A lot.
I haven't tried zoom dating because it seems kind of terrible, but maybe I'd like it?
It’s been a month and a half now. Her and I had split so many times. I guess you never really know people sometimes. Regardless of specifics, the pain has been incredible. There are so many layers. Each day is a fight to just let it go. It’s not how my heart operates, but it’s my final and only way of expressing ...yknow... l o v e. But call it what you want, right? Of course Valentine’s Day threatens a nice old kick in the teeth but that’s the way we operate. If you have someone, hold them tight... and know what you’re saying to them. Take care
Is there a few of us that are just loving the mask? I feel like shit and I don’t want to wear makeup. I just feel like hiding and I love it. And I didn’t get my colds this year. And I don’t get men telling me to smile! This was such a common occurrence, because my German RBF is bad. Lol! Just feel less hassled. Sad, but true.
I feel like I have disappointed everyone in my life. I have never really found my stride. I got a good education but never used it, I've just scraped by working low level retail jobs. I have no ambition whatsoever, no desire to strive for anything career related. So many family members, friends, teachers, have invested so much in me. I feel like a total failure because I never achieved anything. The sad part is they still believe in me even when there is no evidence that their faith is justified. I'm sorry, and more ashamed than you can imagine. I am too sensitive for this world, I just couldn't play the game like normal people.
I see these animal rescue stories on my feed about rehabilitating dogs which are sooo heartwarming...they serve as a mirror of my hopes and dreams. I wish I could get my tail wagging again!
I never sit in the rear-facing seats on the bus anymore because more and more people are putting their dirty shoes on the seats. I get that public places are "dirty", and Sheldon Cooper's "bus pants" are definitely a thing, but I don't know when (younger) people completely lost respect for public places. Some of these people are even in their 30's. I'm in my 40's and everybody in my "generation" got smacked a new one by our parents or any elders nearby if we ever dared put our feet on the seat.
Yesterday I saw a high schooler completely splayed out across the back row of bus seats. I saw where the shoes were, so I guess I won't be sitting in the back row anymore either.