I admit having a mental block in looking for a new place to live. The last time I did, it was the most stressful thing in my life. I was broke for years and pinned to the ground owing so much money to the bank. Working to just keep a roof over my head. To voluntarily give up the tiny space I have, to put myself in so much financial servitude to the bank and my employer, for years, is quite frankly terrifying and depressing. So, stay in 500 sq ft or be a slave to the bank for years for 300 more sq ft. I hate Vancouver. Honestly, I would have left here years ago if not for obligatory familial ties. Everything is paved f*cking over, any space is stampeded with weekend warriors, I don't give two shits about artisanal donuts. Why the eff are we all here?

Especially when someone is telling you how terrible their ex is. I found out that my ex was telling his friends and new girlfriend all this stuff that I supposedly did to him when it was actually all stuff that he did to me! He told her I was crazy of course and since she was in love with him she believed it. I found out when someone she talked to told me what he said. Maybe he didn’t tell her about all his other *crazy* exes or she would have figured out who the common element was. Just because someone finally fights back after being emotionally abused for years doesn’t make them crazy, and just because the person who did the abuse seems calm and rational doesn’t mean they’re the innocent victim. It might just mean that they’re so cold and cruel that they will deliberately push someone to their breaking point and then stand back calmly watching them break. Then they’ll tell everyone how irrational and unstable that person was without ever mentioning any of the stuff they did to mentally torment them for years. They have no conscience and they have no empathy so it means nothing to them.

And felt so depressed I'm a single older straight guy & there was nothing but young perfectly fit male/female couples (perfect toned bodies & perfect hair) groups of young people together & single older men there (likely gay since the West End is known as a hub for white gay men).... No single women unless they were super young walking thier dogs or jogging or UW's.... So yes I felt like shut there.... I might as well as stayed home and go on the internet.

But the fucking internet is full of shit.. misinformation, porn, try to google something & half the time you can't find any real information, you have stupid FetLife (as others have mentioned here) ads popping up, you people on their phones glued to them like they are brain dead whether it be the internet or social media....anyways I know I'm rambling on lol

especially at restaurants, can go eat a dick. I waited nearly 13 mins for some pony tailed fat guy to get out of the washroom. He looked like he was washing his greasy face in there. I know many people will cry: IBS, lITeRaLlY cHroNs disease! Yeah other people have that too and they also need to use the bathroom.

I confess that I’ve had the occasional case of FIMD. Here’s one example: was having a rare meal out with one of my siblings and we were talking about random shit when somehow the topic of clothes came up. I started laughing about how a lot of married guys have the worst clothing styles and wear things that have been outdated for a decade. I described one of my most hated outfits in particular, the newbalance shoes, the baggy jeans with the tight ankles, and an ugly golf-style T-shirt. I’m cracking up and he just says “you mean like the outfit I’m wearing right now ?” Yup, there was that.

Finally got to see some of my family again after COVID. So nice to be verbally abused, the constant put downs, the insane high strung energy. We're supposed to get together again in September. As soon as they leave town I will text them I will not be attending. Who needs that shit? Not me.

I'm not bald.would I be one of the wannabees that grows a big beard to "make up for it"? Not a chance, clownshow.

in my life, I can't bear to think of them, let alone confess

How men of intelligence often end up in isolation. People like Hemingway come to mind. Sure, he was a narcissist and an asshole but putting up with strangers is easier than putting up with "friends" and family that exhibit nothing other than dark triad traits. You want to abuse, put down or whatever, you do that, you just won't be doing it to me.