All my life, I’ve been a lonely person. Even when I’m in the company of some people, whether inside a conference, workshop, gathering or party, I’m always lonely. You could put me in a room full of 10, 20, 30 or maybe even 150 people and I’ll still feel lonely.

I’ve had trouble with girls that it’s getting to the point where I just don’t care anymore. I can never get a date whether it’s in real life or even those lousy online dating apps. If anything, I should’ve been gay. I feel like I’ve failed as a straight man.

There seems to be more hikers with bear spray there than on the trails. Is crime out of control at Metrotown or something? Every 2nd day, I hear something about bear spray at metrotown in the news.

I have an old and dear friend. He has hot buttons for the War in Ukraine and Gaza. I walk on eggshells. If I push one of the hot buttons, he will go away and sulk for a year. Sometimes he tries to push one of the buttons, but I won’t play.

In recent years I have accomplished some things that few thought I could do, and many tried in vain to prevent. Throughout it all, people close to me are the ones that kept me trying even when things were bleak or when first attempts failed. Throughout February of this year so of those people took motivations from me and tried to fly themselves. One of those things happened to be something that floored me and even I thought "there's no way they could do that". At first it was almost envy. Sure they took their motivation from me, but what they did trumped anything I did by a long shot. After a few days emotion turned to pure pride. Somebody I've never really looked up to has done something that I now gaze upon with proud envy eyes in a way I never thought possible. Life and people's feats are beautiful.

I confess that although I’m curious about my genetic makeup, I’ll never do one of those tests. I’d be amazed if there aren’t several half siblings out there that I don’t know about. I prefer to live in blissful ignorance than be confronted with the physical evidence of just how badly my father cheated on my mother all over the world.

When you’re at the cashier, emptying out the store’s plastic basket, clear it out of the way FFS. To just leave it on the floor, where you are standing, impeding the flow of the lineup of people behind you is quite frankly assinine and self centred. You think I’m going to do it for you? You think they even have staff to do this for you? In 15 minutes, 2 different stores, 2 different plastic baskets on wheels, with the same type of consumerist turd that should stay at home bedrotting and shopping online, so that we can shop without classless bodies who don’t know shit about civility.

It's best for people to count their blessings or do a genuinely good deed for society rather than sit around, complaining about it so much. Complaining does nothing but only increase anxiety. Try to put your head down and see if you can go through the rest of the year, maybe even the rest of your life without worrying about crappy things that aren't even worth a passing thought. Me? I'm not one of those enlightened types that live in a fantasy world of lollipops, unicorns and other illusional nonsense. I know how shitty things can be, but I only raise issues when it's absolutely necessary. That's just my opinion.

I spotted you and thought you were -- I don't know, it was definitely more than just a physical attraction. There was kindness radiating from you. I kick myself when I think about how utterly incapable I was of speaking around you. You asked me how I was doing and I couldn't make eye contact. That was twelve years ago and I still think about it, what might have been. Maybe nothing would've unfolded but it would've been nice to know either way. The sad thing is if the exact same scenario were to happen today, I would be just as flummoxed and incapable. There needs some kind of remedial education for dumpster fire level romantic-social hot messes. I barely knew you but you seemed like a lovely person. I hope you're doing well.

Feeling at night when I’m lying there perfectly still in bed and something lightly runs up my face which feels like a ghost or spider petting me ever so gently. Thankfully I’m not scared of either so I enjoy the moment.