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Yes, I've Told Her Im In love With her

she doesn't seem to care much. She speculated that it is lust. I told her lust is a part of love. the truth is , I love the way i feel when shes around. i want to be near her always. Sure, she happens to be georgeous but I think if she wasn't so gorgeous she'd realize that yes, I do in fact love her. I wish people would take me at my word. I don't lie. I despise liars, you can't trust them at all. I trust myself.

Sick Again

Due in large part to exposure to secondhand cigarette smoke. I don't smoke, but there are some stupid, morally unevolved humans that do: my neighbour living in the next suite of our non-smoking apartment; a few of the regular passengers on my bus commute that inconsiderately empty their smoke-filled lungs inside the transit vehicle; and, a few of the contractors that come into my workplace, that do the same thing. Lung cancer is a bad way to go, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but sometimes I feel like they should suffer, like I'm suffering right now.

Age of Grey

I got Covid when it first started to pop up and it hit me pretty hard. One of the many side effects was that it caused a very noticeable increase in grey hair. Since then I now get called old, "Sir", grandpa, etc., and am treated quite differently at work, in my social life, and by the opposite sex. Mostly in a derogatory way. It's been an eye opener. I now look at older people in a different way and feel more compassion towards them. Ageism is real of course and stressful like any other form of discrimination. It's one of the last forms of socially accepted prejudice. It's blatant and in your face with no repercussions. It took contracting a virus for me to realize this.

How the tables have turned

I love my Uncle. Unfortunately, I love him in short bursts. I cannot tolerate him for long periods of time. Whenever he calls, he always brags about useless crap. He puts his wife on a pedestal. Now I hear she’s divorcing him. So what’s there to brag about? WTF.

But They didn’t mean it

I wonder about the ultimate betrayal in a relationship. Is it Infidelity? Lying? How about Disloyalty, Damage, Theft, or Disrespect? Whatever it is, the impact is harm. Intention means nothing.

Who needs him

I had this friend back in my old school days. He used to be humble about coming from a wealthy family but his personality changed defiantly after we graduated. Success must have gone to his head. He became cocky and full of himself. He never had anything interesting to say except comparing his wealth to others and bragging about high priced dinners with lawyers and that kind of crap. Garbage. Absolute garbage. We had nothing in common, so we drifted. I don’t know him anymore. Haven’t seen him in so long therefore he’s dead to me. More so than my own dead relatives.

No one talks about

The guilt of being an unplanned pregnancy, of throwing a wrench into people's lives through no fault of your own. Thirty-five years and three more children later, my parent's marriage isn't horrible, but it isn't great either. They love one another but the marriage is dysfunctional, according to both of them. I sometimes wonder what their lives would've been like if I hadn't appeared. I'm confident they would've gone on to marry other people.

everything has become transient, intentionally

my childhood photos lasted until i was 55, when my wife asked for them, then threw them out. how long do digital phone images last now? 2 years, then the phone dies and everything is gone. Blade Runner had it backwards, the truth is those in power don't want us to have any memories.

Bald is beautiful

I’m almost 40. Had a look at myself in the mirror and noticed my hair is thinning. I’m beginning to think it’s falling out. Nope, I’d rather not buy Rogaine. It’s too expensive and has these weird side effects. Hopefully, it falls out sooner than later so that way I could have a nice George Costanza look.

so cold

There is nothing worse then silence. Especially when you don't understand why. Don't leave people on read. Grow the hell up and communicate like an adult instead of saying nothing at all and letting things fall apart. It's unhealthy . Why throw away such a long friendship away ? At least say why. You say you want unconditional love. But once you have it you run from it and treat the person like a resource, like an option and pull on there heart string, giving them false hope, and trampling on there heart and not even caring. That's brutal . Do you even care that your destroying me . You pretended to love me for what why? I love you and let you into my home to help you but you took advantage of that. You were mean and played with my feelings ,disrespected me and my home. I didn't want to kick you out but what choice did I have. You didn't help with anything not even cleaning up. All I wanted was just a little effort. I would have went to the ends of the earth for you .yet you can't even be bothered to at least tell me why. I lost I lied and I sure cried for you. I knew we would never be together, but I thought we would be friends for ever. I don't know what to do I'm stuck between holding on and walking away. I don't want to walk away. Your my first and last thought everyday. I worry about you. My entire playlist reminds me of you. No matter how hard I try to forget you or hate you I can't. I went into the dark and met your demons, and I chose to love and stay anyway. I don't understand why you came back and said all the right things and convinced me you actually loved me just to hurt me so f**king bad.


You offered to let me in line before you

There was a long line at the coffee shop, at work. You offered to let me in before you, but I...

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