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Reality check

Everyone has their own ways of coping with any difficult situations whether it’s coming out of the closet, going through a really bad divorce, addiction, death in the family, career changes, or leaving town, and so on, etc. That’s life, is it not?

Males versus Females

Feminism versus ... what is going on? There's some sort of imbalance that has been going on. People are starting to see that men are needlessly suffering for the sake of virtues bestowed upon us my academics and government. But at the end of the day, men are not doing so well for the most part. I hope they get the support they need.

Strange

Have you ever noticed how some people who claim to live their quote unquote “best lives” really don’t sound too convincing? Most of them seem very uptight as if they’re just always pissed off about something. It’s like they have a chip on their shoulder, looking for an argument. I honestly thought people who lived their best lives were happier and at peace with themselves. Maybe not. Life’s too short for you to walk around with a cork up your arse. Loosen up already. You came out and got what you wanted. Aren’t you happy? What more do you want? As if we owe you the world. It seems like you have inner issues that you need help dealing with and no offence, but judging by your personality, it shows.

Family stuff

The relationship between my mother and myself is strained. I’m also not on good terms with my older sister. I feel like I don’t even know these people anymore. We were a lot more close in younger years, but as I’ve aged, I feel as though things have seem to slipped away. Where did it all go wrong? Where did I lose connection? Did it just slip away? I don’t even know what to say anymore. It’s like the love that I had for them is now diminished. Our relationship has been very strained and I don’t know if anything can ever be fixed.

So gross

I had to use a public washroom yesterday designated for everybody which I don't have a problem with. I confess I DO have a problem with people with penises who drop urine on the seat, rim and all over the floor in front of the toilet. I'm sure there are people with vaginas who do the same thing but for the most part I find the offenders are the penis people. Why can't everybody be a little more careful and considerate for others? It's really a matter of cleanliness and biohazards. Honestly.

Decentish Human

The longer I live with myself, the more I realize just how hard it is trying to erase -largely self-inflicted- past hurt. You can visit shrinks and read psychology books till the cows come home, but certain pain prangs seem to linger for forever and a day. The hardest of these is learning how to let go of people you loved deeply but either whose affection wasn't reciprocal or it was, but they simply belonged elsewhere at that point in time. Oh, and realizing that you hurt them when you didn't mean to at all, as a result. Saying sorry never cuts it; moreover you can't rewind life like you can a video tape (I is old). Learning how to be a decentish human seems to be a lifetime endeavour of trial and error. It doesn't require money, owning fancy things, or even a primary school education either. You can have twelve degrees, live in the British Properties, and still be a royal hemroid. The only thing that seems to soothe the bitterness of facing our inner rattlesnake at times is wishing those we hurt well, and hope/pray that they're living good lives, if they still happen to be alive. Forgiving others seems to start with forgiving yourself, if you're willing to acknowledge that you ain't no saint that is, and that love should be selfless. I still got a looong way to go.

Another Strange Dream

Last night I dreamt that I saw someone I thought I was very close with for years but ended the friendship when I realized it wasn't healthy. It went as I expected but I got to say my bit so I was leaving when I heard a voice behind me call my name as if they recognized me. I turned and saw a very short, stocky, dark haired person who sort of looked familiar. They gave me a beautiful smile as they embraced me around the waist. The moment they touched me I felt a sense of pure bliss. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. The sensation was so strong it woke me up immediately. It was amazing and a little scary at the same time.

Had a crush

On this beautiful woman whom I worked with over many moons ago. They called her the Boss Lady. She was a single mother, but it didn’t matter. She had the most gorgeous soulful, crystal blue eyes that really sparkled. Even her teeth were perfect. The sound of her soothing soft spoken voice always cheered me up. Hadn’t seen her since God knows how long. Then I found out that she’s taken. She now has another man in her life. They’re getting serious. No more chances for me. Oh well.

I must confess

I’ve be entering my exes name and my first name in any contest I see, I hope he wins the hot tub because he’s very cold and a loser and maybe will change his life around!

I SAW YOU

Happy Day Cafe on Kingsway

You were sitting by yourself & you ordered a few Curry Fish Balls and a few deep-fried Spring...

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