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Tipsy

I can’t afford to pay a tip on top of taxes and the price of things. Especially when service is commonly terrible to sub par. If a tip were a sliding scale option to pay according to income it could help. I’d also welcome tipping that prompts an extra service beyond the standard that is appreciated but not necessary that a server can provide.

Giving Up

It is so hard to meet a good man here. I can't seem to meet anyone of quality or substance on Tinder or Hinge. They all seem to either be on drugs or not have decent jobs. I mean a job where you can afford to have a roof over your head and gas in your car. I just don't want to date a man who couch surfs or lives in his van. I don't believe my standards are that high but maybe they are for Vancouver. I am so fed up with dating and am about to give up.

Woman who asked me out

A lot of the time I say no. The reason isn't important. If I am not feeling it, then that's just simply the case. There is no reason to hold it against me and ostracize me socially. Unfortunately, I roll in a small Vancouver scene and this has happened multiple times and has ruined my reputation. Women must be familiar with these dynamics, as it's no fault of their own when they reject men. Yet, in small... particularly the left-wing circle I am in, it's considered a thought-crime of some sort and now I am being slandered beyond belief. Guess what, left-wing beef-cakettes? I don't have to date you. There's nothing you can do about it. Please lower your expectations.

Don’t feel strong

So much loss and I’m feeling weak. I said goodbye to someone that I didn’t want to lose but knew that I had to. At the time I felt strong but now I don’t. I just miss them so f’ing much and it’s taking everything I’ve got to not pick up the phone and beg them to come back. But I resolved that I was never going to chase someone again no matter what and I’m trying to remind myself of why I said goodbye in the first place. I do believe that what’s meant for us will find us somehow but I wish it would hurry up because this loneliness is killing me. I miss hugs most of all.

Full circle

I was reluctantly added into a group chat. All of the personalities are very “self” rather than “group” oriented, which is why I was not exactly thrilled to be added. It turns out I inadvertently “left the chat” when I deleted the app to make room on my phone for more creative apps like video production. And while I was gone, the whole group chat imploded, as I knew it would: backstabbing, selfish inconsiderate behaviour, factions and sides being pitted against the other sides. This was the antithesis of group chat rules. Now these members are not speaking to each other and seethe when one appears in social media photos with the opposing side. So grateful to continue flying solo!

Imperfect

I confess that I’m an imperfect person. I have made mistakes, I’ve been mean sometimes, I’ve lied sometimes, and I’ve been selfish sometimes. But I don’t think I’m unusual because everyone I know is imperfect too. So I cut people slack. I give them grace. I forgive the people who didn’t mean to harm me and who tried their best. Including my parents who definitely made some serious mistakes and caused me some trauma as a result. I know they loved me and I know that they didn’t realize how much harm they caused, so I don’t hold onto anger because of it anymore. I made my peace with it, and realize that it’s up to me now to deal with my own issues. This trend of people cutting someone out of their life has gotten out of hand I think, because it seems like young people have some very unrealistic expectations of others. It’s like they think that unless someone conforms to some rigid standard of perfection they’re not worth keeping. It’s sad.

Mistake

About 5 years ago I had a one night stand with this guy I met at a club and I got pregnant. Turns out he was a good guy with his own house and wanted to be a father. We had a beautiful baby boy and later got married. We now have 2 kids and a great life. Sometimes a mistake can work out in unexpected ways.

Winter solstice reflections

In a world driven by commodification, distraction, and desperate pleas for attention, it is super hot to find a person who is selective about how they spend their time and energy, can make conscious decisions about what serves them and what doesn’t, and can take accountability for themselves and their choices. Is this you? If so, I hope we cross paths in 2024.

Banking in person is ridiculous

Everyone can hear your conversations. People are asking for rolls of loonies while others are asking for housing financing. Crazy ass teller world. People who speak softly are the only ones who get any privacy.

Mistletoes

I went to a staff Christmas party this weekend, maybe only my second or third ever. Not usually my style. I got kissed by more people in one night than I had in the last few years. I got kissed by someone I had a crush on for forever. Was over before I could freak out. And was squished in the middle of a whole lot of wholesome affection throughout the weekend. Single, social and suddenly full of Christmas cheer.

I SAW YOU

Guy who participated in Chinatown parade ...

I work nearby Chinatown and where I work was crazy busy after Chinatown parade on Sunday. ...

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