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Lockdown

I live in an apartment with two women. It just ended up that way because another tenant left and one of the girls moved in one of her friends. We're essentially trapped in this apartment for 23 hours a day. Leave once a day for a walk around the neighborhood. So yesterday one of the girls said due to lack of options she wants a FWB relationship with me. She said she isn't really attracted to me. I had limited to no options before this crisis so obviously I said yes. Life is full of surprises.

I'm not sure

This morning I watched a guy park the car share vehicle in a no parking zone. He and his girlfriend got out. They were dressed in running gear and shorts and they jogged away, down the sidewalk, side by side. I'm not sure if I should condemn them for potentially spreading the virus during the health emergency. Or should I commend them for getting on with their lives. I'm not sure.

Bleh

I’m just going to let myself feel lost, upset and angry then I’ll let these emotions pass because I know this pandemic won’t last forever. But jeez. My 6 year old daughter lives in Bellingham with her mom, and I can’t cross the border to visit her or have her spend the weekends with me. This is rough. Looks like the next time my daughter sees me she will have a new (rescued) pup.

Home schooling myself

Even as an adult, I am staying home and studying online. I'm 33.... school still sucks.

Fucken roommates

They're using Evo regularly just to use short grocery trips a few blocks away! Fuck... I washed my clothes and had a shower after using Modo once... and I hope I don't have to use it again until this is all over. Self-isolating with roommates is impossible without making things unpleasant it seems.

All my wishes came true!

For years, I scoured headlines hoping to one day see news of a global calamity that would upend daily life as we know it. Last month I got my wish! Since Covid-19 and the idea of social distancing has taken hold, my depression and anxiety have eased considerably, and I feel better, mentally and emotionally than I have in a decade. I like the empty, (mostly) quiet streets, being able to hear birds instead of traffic, and having people at more than arms length. I know this’ll sound awful to a lot of people, but the pandemic is alright by me!

Ugh so mad 3am

It is 3am. I am almost wide awake. New roommates moved in... just a stressful change. Getting new roommate next month too. Roommate is travelling so I have to deal with sublets... They're destroying the social distancing so it will affect my ability to visit my parents. I want to move out. Worse part is, I suspect I will get evicted once the roommate comes back because it must quarantine itself. What a shitty hand. I also hate my job and want to leave it but I am glad I have a job for now too... ugh.

It's Not A Myth

Wow. People *really* aren't respecting the physical distancing thing. They're even making fun of it. Tonight I braved my local cold beer and wine store for the first time in a while. They were only letting one person in at a time -- no browsing. I was so glad to see that. But while I was lined up outside, the young couple behind me kept creeping closer. They were only about two feet behind me at one point. And I could hear them laughing and talking about me and all the others who were, as they put it, "paranoid." Then there were all the jerks who brushed past us within inches on the sidewalk. Guys, the streets are empty -- walk around and keep your distance. Honestly, it's far more stressful going out to grocery shop or buy the odd bottle of wine on a Friday night than it is to stay isolated indoors. The idiocy and unkindness that I experience in public these days makes me feel hopeless.

Eyes Wide Shut

This Covid-19 pandemic feels like a bad dream because we live in Vancouver, the lower mainland, Lotus land, Hollywood North so bad things never happen here. I'm hoping eventually I'll just wake up, have breakfast, and go to work just like any other typical weekday here. But the bad dream is a long one so I realize I better get used to it just in case it's real.

I pray

Some of my friends are genuinely scared. They suffer a fear of a future full of uncertainty and no way out. I feel helpless. They're so wonderful and I can't do anything to help them. I can't handle it any more than they can, but I'm not a stranger to this so I'm over the fear part. For them, this is foreign and quite scary. There are no plan Bs in sight. And they are too good of people to go through any of this. Being poor...being poor. How I wish to be so utterly rich. Like, obscenely so. It really is the answer. Of course for my comfort...and now even more to be there for the same people who have been there for me when I fell into misfortune. I look to the sky, searching. Servants of the creator, I ask for the most benevolent outcome to make me immediately very rich now. I have a lot of love to reward. Please and thank you.

I SAW YOU

Hey, my eyes are down

I’ve seen you, and I feel you’ve seen me.. ...

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