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OCD

I am addicted to stupid games on my iPhone. I spent literally all day yesterday playing scrabble and crossword puzzles and stayed up until 4am doing them as well. I can’t stop even when I get a headache and sore arms and hands from it. I deleted the apps just now. I’ve never been like this before, but after over a year of lockdowns and no travel I am literally going crazy!!

Mask: Black, sun-faded

So many interesting masks nowadays. You sure are pretty wearing the solar system on your face. I feel a little plain in my sun-faded black mask but I refuse to stylize this necessary evil.

I swear

I cant even begin to understand how you all wear the exact same outfit as all your friends. Today on the bus I saw a group of teen boys ALL wearing the same ass Nike AF1's and the same ass outfits. Jesus you look so ridiculous.

Young fun

When I was young, in high school, I took a girl out on a Friday night. She was putting on chap stick and I asked if I could try some. I leaned in and kissed her. Ha! Proud of my young self ;)

Ants

Why are ants so damn cool. I'm sitting in my backyard right now, watching them all scurry around and I just saw two ants high five each other. It totally blew my friggin mind.

I confess...

I always have a reoccurring daydream. I wish I was a test subject for outerspace exploration. Like signing up for a "mission" to a black hole to see what happens, or Mars or whatever. I fully give my permission to crazy rich elite scientists to use me as a guinny pig to send me off this planet Into space for scientific education. Sad thing is, there's a lot of other people who would too. Competition is probably ly fierce.

Lifes lessons

20 years ago, an owner of a diving and kayak shop came into a class full of their newest keener optimistic students and gave a life lesson. It was about previous students who had, after getting their start with this store start their own shop. Long story short, it was a lesson that when they went bankrupt the owner went in and bought up their supplies. Didn't need them, didn't want them, but it was about pride or something, The lesson was for us to not f*ck them over, but the lesson has always stood out to me. A few years ago my ex came back in my life. Something she said she would never do and would be mean if I ever did to her. The thing was, I was doing fine, but she had just opened a business and coincidentally needed to show me. At the time I went on a black out drinking mess. That's on me. full stop. I sobered up. Got my shit together and moved on. The thing is.... as a business in Vancouver during COVID, she has been wiped out. First by the first year, and then by the fact this summer has effectively been cancelled. I go back to what this owner told me years ago. Open a business, but if you f*ck with people in doing so, they will pick your carcass clean. I stayed sober. I also have not once bothered her during this trying year. I learned how much she hurt me flaunting a momentary success and that I would not want to do that to anyone. The world has not changed.

When it rains, it pours.

All of a sudden my equilibrium has been shaken. They installed blinding bright lights outside my apartment windows. The dog across the street who I would pet and was pretty much my only friend died. The lovely old lady down the street who would sit on her porch had a fire in her house, parts of it are charred and boarded up. I have been discombobulated, in just a few days it's a whole new world in the neighbourhood.

Well, that was disappointing

I didn’t eat at restaurants much even before the pandemic, and since it began I haven’t actually gone to one at all. But I decided to give in to my craving for a specific dish that I loved from a local restaurant. It wasn’t at all enjoyable. Not only has the restaurant jacked the prices up by at least 15%, the outside seating area was packed and the service was terrible. The server got the very simple orders wrong (there was only 2 of us), and I waited far too long for her to fix it. When I finally did get my food it wasn’t good. Other patrons were behaving irresponsibly and not wearing their masks as they should have been. So now that I’ve satisfied my craving I will not be going back to what was my favourite restaurant, ever again. I’m sad.

Surrounded by a thick dense fog

Depression is like a thick, dense fog that doesn’t just follow you around. It surrounds you. You’re in it and it’s pitch black. I’m talking pitch black like the sky out in the bush away from the city light. But unlike the sky it’s like you’re drowning, both legs chained to iron balls. You’ve been treading for so long, grasping for anything that floats by. You’re white knuckling it, trying to hold on for your life because you don’t want to hurt your loved ones by letting go. You’re exhausted. You so desperately need it to end. You need relief, and yet you are lost, alone, head barely above the surface in a sea of darkness. There’s no way out, no way through. There’s just no other way.

I SAW YOU

Handsome man getting groceries.

Me, female, medium blonde hair. Floral mask. You, around my height, bald, handsome, in your 40&...

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