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Swiping right

Job interviews seem like that right now. I've had a few entry level minimum wage positions get to the reference phase, contact my solid references and then nothing. Why contact references if you have no intention of hiring them? Why interview people if you're just fishing? The expectation I lived a non pandemic experience over the last few years is frustrating.

I keep on seeing billion dollar numbers in the news

But I swear, they just feel so abstract and made up now. I think the problem is nobody believes these numbers are worth anything. It feels like people are buying a sinking and collapsing system.

I miss living in another country

They would just have the chickens on the street and you could go and buy one fresh. Nobody was vegan-nagging you about enjoying life. Western society is definitely dying from being nagged to death by woke nuts.

Thank you was never enough

I always said, "thank you", to D. But, looking back, it was never enough. I never cared about beauty. Sometimes, I didn't even see it. I know it means a lot to many men and women. D. was a big woman, not especially fat, but tall and large-boned. She was a special lover, inventive, creative, intuitive, supportive, there just aren't enough words. I felt safe to try new things I had not experienced before, to say anything, to let go of everything, to be complete. We didn't love each other, and we lived different lives, but I always think about D.

You'd be an idiot

To keep up with the Jones and the Joneses these days. You're just going to give all of your labour to the corporate world and be unable to afford rent/a house. I mean, if you don't try, you will never get it.... but come on... really? It sure seems like rich financers control everything and exploit their workers.

An important lesson

Don't butt into something between 2 people that has nothing to do with you, especially if one of those people is extremely obsessive and revengeful. Actually there are several people who will be suffering and only one of them is from here. But one of them is going to get it the worst.

Is it time to shit a brick?

Banks are collapsing and inflation is ongoing. By putting money into the system to bail out banks, it adds to inflation. Further, AI is just about to start replacing jobs-- even high paying tech jobs. Real estate is out of reach for me to place my money safely into. It seems like the only people who are safe are people who paid off their mortgages. Meanwhile, we're increasing immigration to levels that our Canadian housing system cannot handle. Am I the only one seeing this as a bad situation?


People always harp about how the Bible says this or the Bible says that. Who cares? Does it really matter what the Bible says? The Bible says a lot of things. I’ve got no time for it. I can’t be bothered with that sort of nonsense whatsoever. Boy, talk about boring.

Can’t live with them…

…don’t want to live without them. What a dilemma. How sad it is for two people who are miserable without each other and yet still can’t find a happy medium so they can be together. I just wanted fairness and respect, and I felt used instead. My life is one of existence now, where I just go through the motions day to day, with rare moments of joy. He says it’s the same for him because neither of us feels whole without the other. But I can’t ever go back to how it used to be, and I don’t see any change happening unless he realizes that’s his only option. So we stay apart and remain in this limbo half life instead of growing old together and supporting each other with grace. So sad.

All Our Tears

Say the words. But where Are the words? I did not have them. They come in and out of mind like shadows; Koi fish barely nearing the surface in a rain dappled pond at dawn. Why didn’t I say the words? Didn’t I know? Like attempting to grasp such a fish barehanded, Even knee deep in water I failed to take hold and fully fathom; Viscerally own those sounds that are born from deep knowing. I did not have the words. I could not express what was so deeply entombed within. Drowned below in darkness, stifled screams. No, we must have peace here yes? Stay nice and quiet. Compliant. Do. Not. Resist. The threat of livelihoods held at our throats. Yet now, only as I come to surface To breathe. To know That you were drowning me all along; Standing above my shoulders to keep yourselves afloat. How could you? Yet you were drowning too. Held down by yet another. Why were we in water to begin with? All our tears.


Costco meet cute

We initially exchanged glances in produce but when you ended up behind me in line, I panicked....

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