I didn’t eat at restaurants much even before the pandemic, and since it began I haven’t actually gone to one at all. But I decided to give in to my craving for a specific dish that I loved from a local restaurant. It wasn’t at all enjoyable. Not only has the restaurant jacked the prices up by at least 15%, the outside seating area was packed and the service was terrible. The server got the very simple orders wrong (there was only 2 of us), and I waited far too long for her to fix it. When I finally did get my food it wasn’t good. Other patrons were behaving irresponsibly and not wearing their masks as they should have been. So now that I’ve satisfied my craving I will not be going back to what was my favourite restaurant, ever again. I’m sad.
Depression is like a thick, dense fog that doesn’t just follow you around. It surrounds you. You’re in it and it’s pitch black. I’m talking pitch black like the sky out in the bush away from the city light. But unlike the sky it’s like you’re drowning, both legs chained to iron balls. You’ve been treading for so long, grasping for anything that floats by. You’re white knuckling it, trying to hold on for your life because you don’t want to hurt your loved ones by letting go. You’re exhausted. You so desperately need it to end. You need relief, and yet you are lost, alone, head barely above the surface in a sea of darkness. There’s no way out, no way through. There’s just no other way.
...i know your taken. just meeting someone like you gives me hope again, where it was lost before. your one of those rare beautiful on the inside people & it comes forth in your eyes,smile & energy. i don't approach alot of people normally or try anymore since covid. it was a big deal for me to come out of my shell (& even try approaching/talking) , let alone have it be welcome & well received. So grateful for that. there has been many hard things over the last year, the rain had me feeling down. a glimpse of your beauty brought the sun out for me. relight that flame inside, let me know that there's good ones still. the universe showed me a sign today & there's good things for me in it still.
gratitude for your kindness, openness & beautiful vibes.
hope to see your golden soul again & if not... im glowing knowing your out there.
While I was waiting for the train today, I observed a fat chickadee perched on a sign above the platform. Its puffy little body looked a little damp but it was chirping away merrily. It made me so happy! I felt like I could just stand there watching it for at least 20 minutes. Bird TV is no substitute for seeing with your own eyes. Please send more.
I have been looking for a part time job and did some interviews. I am working though, full time, same company for a long time in a management position, still did not pass for the second interview... What is wrong with me? Or people are scared I will take their job? I really don't know. Super sad tho...
I moved here February of 2020, had a few weeks of enjoying the city properly and then was confined to my apartment since. Never had a housewarming party and never ended up buying or unpacking the things I would need to host guests. I have a couch, one glass, a bowl, 2 forks, a change of bedding etc. You get the picture.
I lived like a tourist in the city and am now repacking or shuffling boxes that weren't opened to move away.
I realize that the "home" is not about expensive renovations In a gentrified neighborhood but the people and conversations had in it. Pandemic life prevented me from having any social connection at my place. It's bittersweet that I couldn't make this place "Home" but it was a weird and unexpected time to try and start a new life.
As I become more distant and isolated, my work ethnic is slipped. I can happily close my laptop after 7 hours of work now... I just don’t like the job or culture but obviously this is a shitty time to quit. Ugh.... maybe 2 or 3 months of this and then I can escape?
Trying to solve my dating problems feels like a riddle I'll never figure out. Everything I try doesn't work and it's frustrating. The solution is so illogical that I can't come up with it and the second someone tells me the answer I'll be like "Of course, why didn't I think of that?!"
At what age as a woman do you start to feel a more desperate need to settle? The pandemic hasn’t helped my case but as a 28 year old female I’m starting to feel my options are fewer and fewer as time goes on. I feel I have a lot to offer in a relationship and never expect a man to pay for anything but I would like to have that companionship and stability and to start a family. Am I running out of time? Are all the decent guys taken? I’m on hinge and all the guys are “ethically non monogamous” or “looking for something casual” in their 30s like seriously you guys still aren’t ready for commitment??
With more time to think these days, I came to the realization that I’ve spent way too many years pining after this person or another, heartbroken over this person or another. It seemed “special” every time, but in truth I mostly just very badly wanted to be validated as “wanted” by anyone half-decent. I overlooked red flags, compromised my values, and clung onto relationships way past their expiration dates. This is something I’m determined to finally work through now. Sending love to anyone else struggling with low self-worth and anxious attachment.