Even though I didn't see anyone for days, I shaved every day of the pandemic. Today I stopped.
I confess that I’m extremely sexually frustrated. Recently got back with someone with whom I have had a long and tumultuous on/off relationship. Unfortunately the sex is now almost non-existent. It’s one of the reasons we broke up the last time too. I care about him but if I’m not going to get laid then we might just as well be friends only. That means no more sleepovers at my place and no more freeloading on my data, groceries, and most importantly, my time. I’ve still got life and lust in this body and I’m going to go find a guy who actually appreciates it while I still can. He’s welcome to go find someone else too. This experiment can be considered a failure.
I have major surgery coming up in October and I can't stop eating. It's difficult to exercise (with or without forest fire smoke) and has been for quite some time because of my health so my weight was already creeping upwards. I know I should actually try to lose weight before the surgery but I seriously can't stop eating. I try to distract myself with other things but, because the recovery from my surgery will take months rather than weeks, it doesn't seem like the right time to start looking for work again (lost my job due to COVID) or even going back to school to learn new skills that would make me more employable in the future. I should try to talk to someone about this but I can't afford therapy - I'm watching every penny so I can make rent (thank goodness for the CERB). Maybe the hospital has someone on staff who can talk to me about managing my pre-surgery anxiety? I need to find a way to cope that doesn't involve stuffing my face!
She recently got into "witchcraft" and demands respect even though I think it's "hogwash" to use an equally old and silly term. Why are people forcing politeness into this crazy situations? Should be called out instead.
After dealing with an un-diagnosed illness that has been making me sicker and sicker for years, I finally became sick enough that they were able to figure out specifically what it was, and prescribe the appropriate treatment. I’m gradually recovering and I’m feeling better enough to begin the slow process of regaining my strength and fitness. I’ve been so excited to feel well enough to get outside and start enjoying all the activities I once took for granted, like hiking and biking. It was going so great and then...forest fires smoke. I’m also asthmatic. So yet another road block to overcome. Sometimes life is like one really bad joke after another.
I think I could fall in love with my new boss. But my new job is the real soulmate. So I guess I will just love my job instead.
I want to stop feeling so sad and I know now the thing that is making me sad is still around.
"How far do I need to go to feel safe and happy again " ?
Its something I think about .
I feel there is still happiness in here and
* it's trying so hard to shine through *
Can no one see that ?
Maybe I am the one that is blind ?
But I keep trying everyday.
In the past, several men that I dated for a short period of time segregated me into a compartmentalized section of their life, seeing me only on occassion, with the relationship not deepening or growing, I was not introduced as friend or to family members so I knew this relationship was, for him, not going to progress, and sure enough I was shortly dropped as a girlfriend and had to get over it on my own. I felt rejected and I was, in most cases due to my physical appearance (just never pretty enough) and the pain was really deep for me. I had a nervous breakdown after one breakup. In some cases these boyfriends wanted sex but no relationship and that is what hurts the most. Men should never date someone they plan to treat as excess or unwanted, in the near future. It traumatized me for life, recently a female friend compartmentalized me in the same way, and it triggered a mental health episode with depression. She did not want me to meet her family or friends, and it made me ill. She also did not understand when I tried to explain it to her. When someone does that to you, treats you with little respect that way, it scars you for life. Therapy can help, but it has deep roots connected with childhood abandonment and neglect, very easily triggered. Men should be honest and open in their relations as much as they can, to avoid triggering women's psychological issues. Be honest and open.
I see this so often now when I’m having a smoke, it’s pretty funny.
Picture this, 4 to 6 people waiting for a light to go red so they can cross Davie. Few more people show up waiting. They keep waiting. More people show up again, Safeway bags in hand. Waiting. And waiting. Another group reaches the corner. Maximum capacity, people start looking around wondering why there are so many people. Finally someone realised that not a single one of them pressed the walk button. Old lady goes in for the poke, light turns orange- then red- the people can finally cross. I love watching this performance, the characters are always changing but one thing stays the same, people really don’t like touching cross buttons.
Before Covid, guys wouldn't stick around at the best of times anyways. Now this has made dating, much less even meeting anyone,even more difficult.
Think I may as well give up unless anyone has any ideas.