I went out into the world today, for the first time in over a month. It was weird, scary, and exhausting.
A short bus ride, grocery pickup, outdoor park chat with a friend in the rain.
The world is so noisy again and people are acting like things are “back to normal”.
But not for me. Four whole hours out there and I’m exhausted. I don’t know if I’ll be able to go “back to normal”.
I bought a boxed wine, my first ever. Furtively, of course, at a liquor store outside my neighbourhood. Because I'm the only wine drinker in the house right now, and couldn't get thru a bottle fast enough before the last couple of glasses went off. Supposedly it'll last 30 days. It was the most expensive box in the white wine section -- 3 litres for around $40 with tax. French. Sitting discretely in a corner of the fridge. It's actually quite drinkable, and still quite fresh after 5 days. I'm making my way thru it on schedule.
It inconveniences my roommate when he tries to open a new bag.
I feel like little red ridinghood.
Im on my way to gramma's house
But I keep encountering all these wolves along the way and the only thing they seem to want is whats in my basket.
The basket is empty.
Little ridinghood is dead.
The mask and my allergies make me cough sometimes. And I feel like I’m choking. I’m in the store and in a line up (nobody was wearing a mask, btw) I cough into my arm and a woman freaks out and says I’m not wearing my mask properly and says how dare you cough like that in public. Calm the fuck down people...
I confess it makes me so,mewhat sad seeing all the posts about loneliness, isolation and depression. Considering what's going on everywhere it's no freakin' wonder. Small suggestion - try this. When you wake up in the morning go online if you have access to the internet twice a day. Maybe watch when you're having breakfast and again after dinner before bed. Watch the funniest crap that tickles your funny bone and makes you laugh out loud and hard. You don't have to spend all day with this (unless you want to) whatever maybe 20 min or half an hour. Although it might not fix things, it sure as hell makes you feel better. Get those serotonins cookin'! =)
I do NOT feel sorry for all the Airbnb hosts who can't find tenants. In fact, I hope they feel the financial pain, hard. You didn't give a fuck about me when you turfed me, so suck it up, buttercup, and sell your house for a $500K profit instead of a $1M one. Poor little landlord, my ass.
What do some people assume that if someone agrees to date you or have sex with you once or twice, that somehow they have a right to expect that that person somehow owes them something? I’ve had the experience where I was relentlessly pursued by a guy and finally agreed to try dating him, even though I had reservations, and made him well aware of them. After a very few dates I realized that he wasn’t for me, and I told him that right away to ensure that he could move on with someone else. Instead he lost his mind and stalked me. A couple of other guys automatically assumed that they had some type of ownership rights with me after we had sex. The same guys who had fervently agreed that there were no strings attached before the deed was done, and then went ballistic when they realized that I wasn’t interested in continuing to see them. There are no guarantees in dating. Other than being a decent person and treating the other person kindly and fairly, they don’t owe you a thing. Having sex between two consenting adults doesn’t mean that you own them or that they have to agree to keep doing it just because you might want to. I’m a straight woman so my own experience has been with men, but I know that men also experience this with some women. I look at dating as just a test drive so to speak. It’s not a relationship unless both people agree that it is. Get that through your heads people.
My confession is that if I could go back in time to before I became a parent, I wouldn’t do it.
My hair fits in a man-bun now, it no-one will ever see it!