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I'm 38

My condo overlooks a tennis court. I spend most of my day making tennis ball sounds with my lips as I work on a laptop. Pop! Pop! Pop!

Rainy day observations

I love the idea of warm chocolate chip cookies on a rainy day with some milk by the window or hot chocolate. It gives off that calming vibe when all you do is think and gaze as life drops you buy those morning dew drops.

I might be a bad person

I heard her husband was in poor health and my first thought was widowed means available!

Pandemic change

Life in pre pandemic times was so much better. I hate how much this has affected my mental health. I use to be so active and free. Now I feel like a completely different person; Like I lost myself. As if I am shrinking, smaller, and smaller. I use to reach out to other and reply to messages quickly, but now I don't know what to say. Everyone is dealing with their own problems / issues and I don't want to burden them with mine. I want the entire world to be safe but at the same time decide what we decide we shouldn't be criticized for it. I wish everyone to be well and safe.

Movember

I saw a commercial and asked my husband if I could shave him tonight with a sweet tash he refused, so I asked if I could finally clean up all the hair down there instead and he agreed. I’m so happy tonight not going to get a hair stuck deep in my throat for a few weeks. Plus he can feel what’s it’s like to have the itch of grow back.

What difference does it make?

Why is suicide treated with such shame, silence and stigma? I have no one. No. One. Not even a cat or dog. No one will notice if I disappear. I'm just so very tired. Too exhausted to carry on

Waiting

The crappiest part of the job hunt is waiting. Once I apply, I want to know right away if anything will happen. Waiting just sucks. I’ll try and preoccupy myself but end up checking my phone all the time for a response.

Customer service in Covid

As someone who works in Government, Covid has made my job much more difficult. I’ve been verbally abused, cornered and yelled at by rude customers of all sorts. Generally, I’m ok with handling rude customers. I always try to maintain an assertive yet calm and empathetic attitude to help defuse a situation from escalating. But this pandemic has made things much worse. The rules keep changing constantly which really frustrates me because I can hardly keep up with all these new ever changing policies. I’m the one that has to break the sad news to people that they need to book appointments to come in. I wish more people would try to understand how hard it is for those of us who work in the public sector to deal with abuse on a daily basis on the front lines. We do the best we can. Don’t judge us.

Swimming

Is my happy place place. Indoor outdoor cold warm. The water the breath the rolling the freedom the pure joy. I am A mermaid.

Disintegration

I get lonely due to the pandemic and at the beginning of the summer all my friends and associates seem to get into relationships. All moving in with their new people within a few weeks.I definitely have fomo. But now that the dust has settled and listening to the stories, many are living with people with kids who are still married. They talk like everything is for forever. That they went from lonely to perfect life, perfect job, perfect everything in an instant. It sounds a lot like I used to every time I got into, what would be a toxic relationship. I don't know if it's my fomo, or the thought of watching relationship after relationship disintegrate in the next few months. Even a few parents I know have this view that all their kids new beau's will be "the one". Like they've hit lottery wins in every direction of their lives. My life isn't not exciting right now, but I am not sure I want to go from 0 to 100 and blow through a bazillion red flag stop signs either. Then again. maybe Im just being bitter

I SAW YOU

Outside the Back and Fourth

We had met outside of the bar and you approached and we started talking. You introduced yourself...

SAVAGE LOVE

Savage Love: Here's how to help a heartbroken trans man who's tired of constant rejection

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