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Pandemic change

Life in pre pandemic times was so much better. I hate how much this has affected my mental health. I use to be so active and free. Now I feel like a completely different person; Like I lost myself. As if I am shrinking, smaller, and smaller. I use to reach out to other and reply to messages quickly, but now I don't know what to say. Everyone is dealing with their own problems / issues and I don't want to burden them with mine. I want the entire world to be safe but at the same time decide what we decide we shouldn't be criticized for it. I wish everyone to be well and safe.


I saw a commercial and asked my husband if I could shave him tonight with a sweet tash he refused, so I asked if I could finally clean up all the hair down there instead and he agreed. I’m so happy tonight not going to get a hair stuck deep in my throat for a few weeks. Plus he can feel what’s it’s like to have the itch of grow back.

What difference does it make?

Why is suicide treated with such shame, silence and stigma? I have no one. No. One. Not even a cat or dog. No one will notice if I disappear. I'm just so very tired. Too exhausted to carry on


The crappiest part of the job hunt is waiting. Once I apply, I want to know right away if anything will happen. Waiting just sucks. I’ll try and preoccupy myself but end up checking my phone all the time for a response.

Customer service in Covid

As someone who works in Government, Covid has made my job much more difficult. I’ve been verbally abused, cornered and yelled at by rude customers of all sorts. Generally, I’m ok with handling rude customers. I always try to maintain an assertive yet calm and empathetic attitude to help defuse a situation from escalating. But this pandemic has made things much worse. The rules keep changing constantly which really frustrates me because I can hardly keep up with all these new ever changing policies. I’m the one that has to break the sad news to people that they need to book appointments to come in. I wish more people would try to understand how hard it is for those of us who work in the public sector to deal with abuse on a daily basis on the front lines. We do the best we can. Don’t judge us.


Is my happy place place. Indoor outdoor cold warm. The water the breath the rolling the freedom the pure joy. I am A mermaid.


I get lonely due to the pandemic and at the beginning of the summer all my friends and associates seem to get into relationships. All moving in with their new people within a few weeks.I definitely have fomo. But now that the dust has settled and listening to the stories, many are living with people with kids who are still married. They talk like everything is for forever. That they went from lonely to perfect life, perfect job, perfect everything in an instant. It sounds a lot like I used to every time I got into, what would be a toxic relationship. I don't know if it's my fomo, or the thought of watching relationship after relationship disintegrate in the next few months. Even a few parents I know have this view that all their kids new beau's will be "the one". Like they've hit lottery wins in every direction of their lives. My life isn't not exciting right now, but I am not sure I want to go from 0 to 100 and blow through a bazillion red flag stop signs either. Then again. maybe Im just being bitter

Take it!

I routinely use services like grocery delivery and grocery pickup with the usual big players. The people who bring my groceries to my condo front door, or car trunk are helpful and polite and helping me with a chore that I hate. To thank them, I offer them cash tips. I don’t make it awkward; all I say is “Thank you!” and offer the tip. And they refuse! Please, just take it. No one is looking. You deserve it. It’s free money. I know you explain that you’re not allowed to. But you drove to my place in your own car and you’re sweating from lugging the stuff. Just take it. Everyone needs more money to live on.


I am hideous and old and absolutely no one would want me. Ok I get it ! Move on with your life ! I'm ok with that ! I love me for me !

Before my time is up

I would like to win a lotto jackpot just once. It doesn't have to be in the tens of millions. Just enough to buy a decent home here.


Leopard coat sits with red plaid jacket on...

Was the first real night out in a while and was very flighty with my head swimming in shed...


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