i'm conflicted. i'm having a very hard time. i adore the wrong person who bears no interest and even if they did, things would remain as they are. where i'm constantly ignored and then pulled back when they feel they've almost lost me. they're too self-absorbed to realize they've hurt me. it is terribly unhealthy.
i'm no advocate for seeing someone to get over someone but i do feel if the pandemic weren't here, i could go on some wonderful dates and it would all be fine. i might not fall in love but it would help.
now, i spend all my time alone. afraid of casually meeting someone, afraid that my mental health doesn't validate it. it's been especially awful this month. i am deteriorating, i feel so physically alone. i go to work, it's all fine, i come home and the sinking in my stomach reverberates throughout my body. i just want to kiss someone and be held, i guess. have company. that's it.
I’m sitting next to him and dying!! I want him that badly, help!!!
I openly admitted my feelings to someone...and the punishment has lasted a decade so far. I will NEVER do that again.
addicted to video games
addicted to drinking
addicted to online gambling
addicted to everything.. but me
He won't seek help, I don't know how to help, and he desperately needs help.
Ever since New Year’s, I haven’t been working. This work from home is driving me nuts and everyday I just stared at my computer all day until 5 pm hits then turned off my laptop. I don’t know whether my boss knows (hope not) or not.
What (who) I wanted most in life didn't work out. I lived in hope for a long time. I thought my feelings would fade or miraculously the relationship would happen. Instead, my passion dried up and disappeared. I have no excitement for anything. Socializing, food, travel (not that I can), art, reading, music. I pet street cats now. They like me and trust me and that's nice but I don't think it's enough.
I truly appreciate being told I’m the hottest chick he’s ever fucked. Not only is it a real compliment but it’s quite a vulnerable thing to admit and that makes me hot.
I've stopped reading health violation articles in the news. They only serve to remind me that the stupidity disease pandemic is still running rampant with no cure in sight. At least with COVID-19 there's a vaccine. Fucking stupidity disease...
I don't know if people who aren't chronically ill have way more energy than me, or if everyone is tired all the time.