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I peaked in 2019 it seems.


Can’t think of any reasons why, but my friend (or who I thought was my friend) unfollowed me on social media and has even unfollowed me a 2nd time when I tried to add them back. We never had any disagreement or even had differing views on anything. So unsure what the point of contention was. Maybe I am not cool enough or don’t fit into their curated social media presence. I guess 2020 is the year all my relationships suffer from lack of physical or digital contact and aren’t nourished like how they are in previous years. Or it could be that unemployment, underemployment, illness, poverty, uncertainty have wreaked havoc on people’s ability to maintain friendships. I don’t know. Just bummed that my world is so small now and friends are disappearing for reasons unknown. That’s all, thanks for reading.

I Like My Brother’s Best Friend

Warning: A little cheesy, don’t read if you don’t want to cringe. So this guy I liked him back in highschool but then I stopped liking him when we graduated(2016). Then just recently because of Covid I saw him again. Me and my brother kind of have the same group of friends. So this summer I got to hang out with this guy again after all this years not seeing him even once and everyone else. It’s cool and all but I started liking him again but this time it’s deep. Like every time I see him I get nervous and like suddenly my body and brain don’t know how to fcking function lol. I get super conscious when he’s around. I say many dumb shit and I look stupid but I make him laugh though we had this long roadtrip with him and friends as well. I almost got the courage to tell him that I like him but good thing I didn’t. I think he noticed that I like him when we had this roadtrip. I certainly think our friends and even my brother noticed. You know I noticed everytime he’s making a joke he looks at me first. And this one time I was playing guitar and kind of singing too, my brother was like “I told you she can play guitar and sing as well” to this guy that I like. So they definitely had a conversation about me. I know I don’t have a tiny bit of chance with him. Cuz he just sees me as my brother’s little sister. But like even if he doesn’t like me, all I want is for him to be happy even if it’s not with me. I want what’s best for him :( I don’t like seeing him hurt. Like if he has any worries about literally anything I’m always here for him no matter what. If he needs support with anything I’ll be there if he just let me. I can give him the love he deserves. But sadly I am not the one he wants. I just needed to let this out somewhere cuz I don’t have anyone to tell my feelings to :( #FckFeelings

Thank God

I had all my wildest fantasy come true in 2018-19 because this year has sucked for three ways and group sex. At least I can still remember it like it was yesterday.

Fucked Up Dating

I decided to start a new dating profile that's also open to men to see what would happen. I just had a picture of a cat to start and I got 6 likes, all from men. Like. What. The. Actual. Fuck. So confused.

Mute button

Where can I get one? I have to visit my very opinionated family this weekend for a backyard barbeque and I'm dreading it. Two metre distancing and a mask won't be enough protection for this event. Maybe industrial gauge earplugs.

I’m so tired

of hearing about European countries with sizeable Covid rates banning other countries’ citizens as if somehow It’s the others that are ultimately dangerous. Unless you’re talking about an American sized outbreak, you all have comparable numbers!! Canada has way lower numbers than any country in the EU but was recently banned from visiting there! Pointing the finger isn’t going to solve anything. It’s sad that so many don’t understand this is a global problem!

My Job

Is killing my soul. But it gives me freedom and flexibility. The pay is not bad but NOT what it should be and hours flexible but not guaranteed. But everyday I wake up and I dread that THAT is part or all of my day. I realize I'm lucky to have a job etc but it makes me want to cry that I just can not focus enough to just leave or find anything comparable. I'm so tired of people and there bull.

Beyond frustrated

**rant warning** I am seeing someone that I love very much, but his lack of communication skills is creating a huge barrier between us. He has a tendency to constantly offer “advice” in spite of me having specifically told him repeatedly that I don’t want advice unless I ask for it. He seems incapable of being compassionate or empathetic in many circumstances, even when I tell him directly that I could use some empathy. There are so many times when all you need is just a shoulder and someone to talk to! When someone is always telling you what you “should” do, what they’re actually doing is telling you that you’re not competent enough to make your own decisions or that your own way of doing things is not the “right” way. I have known him for a long time and we’ve broken up and reconciled many times, almost always due to this same issue. I had been feeling very optimistic this last time because it felt like we were communicating much better than ever, but now I feel completely defeated again. I just think that he’s completely incapable of ever changing his behaviour. And please, before you all jump all over me and say that it must be something I’m doing wrong, I can say with confidence that it’s NOT that. I have watched him do the exact same thing over and over again with other people too. It’s a family trait (his immediate family does the same thing also).


Now the washing machine eats masks as well as socks


walking, talking, smiling

I'd love to put down the phone and walk with you


Savage Love: No takers for asexual queer who wants romance

Also, lonely bisexual finds life depressing, and straight cheater now wants to dump her Trump voter.

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