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Times have changed

I have been thinking about this for a long time, and at this point I am quite certain that my experience is both rare and common amongst many other dysfunctional families. I do not know how to explain this properly but the worst and most distressing times that my family went through also brought us closer together. My father had a car accident and it almost killed him but miraculously he survived it with only partial injuries and it took him a long time for recovery, and this time was the most stressful time in my family's life because we had no income and my parents were worried they would lose the house. My dad had a small business and he lost that business. They used up all their savings. They fought, sometimes so angrily that all the neighbors heard my father swearing. He was too proud to accept welfare at all and somehow managed to get through and begin working again but on a lower pay level and that set us back in some ways but once again he rallied and of course over the years we had both good times and bad times. What is striking to me now is how the neighbors supported us. They knew that we had suffered and that my father was never compensated for the accident and had to bear the burden himself and was too proud for welfare so they always pitched in if he needed help and when they hunted they gave us game and gave us vegetables from their farms in the countryside where their members of families lived or even from their backyard. Neighbors shared baking cooking and ideas and every child played together. Not one person ever called the police on my parents and even though sometimes I reflected back thinking oh maybe they should have now that I am much older I really appreciate those neighbors supporting my parents as they were, despite their problems. There was always a kind word, a supportive discussion, because they were not violent. Angry yes but no not beating anyone up. These days they might be split up because no noise is tolerated and even if a couple argues they are frowned upon well how is anyone going to ever work anything out anyway? Of course sensible people talk calmly but family dynamics are sometimes intense and loud or angry does not outweigh the positive side of a good neighbor or someone who deserves support look beyond the surface if you can


Always looks hotter and is more fun when I dream about them

I'm sick and tired of entitled, selfish cyclists

I'll preface this by saying I myself am a cyclist too, and while I didn't vote for spending tens of millions of dollars on bike lanes, I use them all the time and I love them. And I'd encourage you all to give cycling a shot in the city as the weather gets better... you can go all over the place with minimal contact with scary traffic, if that's your concern. Which leads to my complaint... with all of these amazing bike lanes, why the hell are cyclists on roads that don't have them? If there's no bike lane nearby, sure, go ahead.... but some idiot in the right lane of the Granville St. bridge, typing up traffic behind him... having the Burrard St. bridge three blocks away... or some idiot on Georgia St. also tying up an entire right lane, having Dunsmuir to the North or Smithe to the right... you guys are just being jerks, and adding to the stereotype of jerk Vancouver cyclist.

Age and introspection

I'm struggling with turning 40 this year. I've overcome a great deal of adversity since I was a child and with health issues resulting from various traumas, but it's been a very difficult journey and continues to be with many other chronic invisible health issues. (Bad genes) From the outside, you can't tell, but it's taken a very heavy toll mentally, financially (I work, but not ft, and push through symptoms to varying degrees every day), and with trusting others. I've finally gotten to a place where I have cut out toxic people, limited contact with toxic family etc. and learned to not have people take advantage of me. Trusting others especially men due to sexual abuse is very difficult. I continue to go to therapy regularly (have for years) and am diligent about my health, but it is to no avail.... My case is complicated....with my physical health issues and mental health is treatment resistant though I still try..... Dating and finding an understanding, kind, partner has always been a struggle. I have taken long breaks after each awful thing, and not dated for 2 and a half years now, and not planning to soon. I think it's too late, and perhaps I'm too broken, and old as men typically want younger women. good, loyal, kind, compatible partners are few and far between. I'm thankful for the few I've met that were in my life in my past albeit a long time ago, but I'm human and we all want to find love and a connection with someone. Friends are kind, and say what a kind, strong person I am, but survival mode is all I've ever known. people from every walk of life, age, gender, and disabilities find love, but it's hard for me to see. Especially as I'm just not ready for it yet, and not trying. will I ever be? It's different as a woman, especially a single woman from my culture. I always held out for the foolish idea of love, but feel it's for other people. I just take things one at a time, continue to see specialists, doctors and get no respite from my mental and physical health issues. Without happiness and health, what does one have? It's a painful existence, especially keeping up a facade being in such pain. (Mentally and physically) My friends want to do something for me, and I just don't want to celebrate, but they said they would. So on a different note, how would you celebrate something you don't want to acknowledge? Not in a good headspace, so please be respectful and tactful with your replies. Thanks

The weather up here

Lately it has occurred to me that to a lot of people, I am pretty much a giant. I mean, I am not freakishly tall but I am well over 6 feet, which is taller than most people. I really haven't thought about how this might make other people feel. Sometimes I see someone from far away and think 'wow that dude is a giant' and I get closer and realize we are the same height. I find it really intimidating to be around someone who is even an inch or two tall than me, since it is pretty rare. Does that mean people are scared of me? Am I imposing? None of this has occurred to me before, that to some people I am pretty much a giant.

I can't help it

I check his social media accounts daily. I can see what he's doing, where and with who. I fell in love with him over 18 years ago when I was just a teenager. Our attempts at being together never seemed to line up because of misunderstandings or relationships. He still sees me from time to time, even though he has a girlfriend, even though I have a boyfriend. I know you'll tell me that I should stop seeing him, forget about him and move on. But I can't. Emotionally, physically, mentally I can't let go. I know you'll tell me how terrible of a person I am for what I'm doing. But I don't have the conscience to stop. I've tried the open relationship idea, but it's not for everyone and that's fair. For now all I can do is keep my head down, exercise, work, eat, sleep, repeat. But I know that if I keep going like this, I will regret it. I already do.


People who write messages on social media about 'acceptance' in this political climate need to check themselves. It's fine to say that people come from all walks of life and have unique experiences; this is true. But don't you DARE do that when you're talking about politicians who are unabashedly anti-gay and sexist. Anyone who supports that sort of idiocy deserves to be shit on. Period.


I find that I have to gargle with listerine before I drink a glass of water because drinking water with bad breath first thing in the morning is disgusting.

Stockholm syndrome

I must have stockholm syndrome because I can’t stop inexplicably fantasizing about the other side’s mouth during heated arguments and fervent disagreement.

Straight to his head

My newly appointed manager's head is getting bigger as the days go by. He's been my *b word* since the 1st and he was OK until this week. If he changes things...whatever it may's not going to be a good work environment. I'm already wound up...don't push my buttons because there are many of them at this point and you like to touch.


You showed me the very best pie

I was shopping at IGA on Blundell, in Richmond. You saw I could not make up my mind. You showed...

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