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RE/Entitled

I'm glad someone told the truth about Generation X. Gen X is a sacred cow with this subject for some reason. The Characteristics that created great art in the late 80's and early 90's are the characteristics that make a generation miserable bastards today. Self-absorbed, bitter and selfish. Gen X is small and mostly forgotten so we're not in the spotlight like the Millennial's and the Baby-Boomer's so we're flying under the radar but ultimately we suck. We certainly thought we were clever because of our enormous superiority complex but if someone was to write a book about my generation today (They wouldn't) It would be 6 chapters on how a generation ran out of ideas in about 1994 and haven't done much since. The final chapter of the book would be called: Sell Out Old. A generation taking whatever it can to get a leg up in life at any cost.

sex doll

I've been used by girls for sex for a long time now. It's made me feel completely worthless and like a piece of garbage. The last two sort of relationships (if you could even call them that) made it very clear that all they wanted was sex. I wish they would have said that from the beginning instead of trying to trick me into thinking they wanted me so that it would be easier to have sex with me. If I knew that all they wanted was to hookup then I wouldn't have invested my time into them. I blocked both of their numbers. By the way, I wasn't seeing them at the same time just to make that clear. I felt instant relief when I blocked them. I deserve better and I've been so lonely that I just take the abuse to have "intimate" human contact. I would rather be alone and respect myself than be a doormat to a girl who just decides to throw her clothes back on because she got her fix and leave without barely saying goodbye. Only texts me late at night to invite me over and in the morning tells me she has things to do... Every single time.. I get that people are busy but I'm not stupid. It really hurts. I feel so unwanted. I was in a 5 year relationship. She cheated on me and I had my guard up for a very long time after we broke up. I had JUST let it down before meeting these two girl and now unfortunately I'm putting it back up. I just don't trust anyone anymore. I wish I didn't feel this way but if I'm hurt one more time.. I just can't take it. Please don't use men or women who are looking for a relationship for sex. If you only want to hook up TELL THEM. Don't waste their time. That seriously makes you a fucking bitch. I live around these people too so I'll probably see them. I'm not even going to give them the time of day.. I can imagine them approaching me trying to explain their behavior so that they can keep me around their finger for a quick fuck. I'm not a sex doll. I'm a sensitive, kind, loving, caring human being with emotions. Anyway, at this point I feel I'm rambling. Thanks for reading have a nice day.

What I really hate is

Those gold digging, self entitled, jealous, makeup abusing types, that will play a person, lead them on into thinking that they really care (even if they're currently with someone else), but all they really care about is what that person does to inflate their ego. If they see their subject moving on, that's when the jealousy really kicks in, and they'll try to play that person into a position in order to get some cold hard revenge on them for straying away. Once their revenge is complete they cry victimhood, and it was the other person that was abusive. Total sociopathic behavior.

In need for support

I blocked this girl I was seeing/dating in the summer. She was breadcrumbing me for 6 months and kept keeping in touch, but never making plans to meet up. I blocked her. It's been tough because my feelings for her are still strong and I don't understand why I'm so attracted to her. Yet I knew the relationship was toxic and abusive, I was acting like a completely different person with her. This was the right thing to do. I'm just looking for some reassurance that I did the right thing, because I deserve better than her treatment.

I like to be told

I like it when my partner tells me what to do in bed. Not only the unusual or kinky stuff, but the more ordinary parts of our sexual repertoire, too. Sometimes, I wonder if this means I am submissive. But I have no desire, as I've seen described in the dom ads, to wash someone's floors or lick their toilet clean, and I think that maybe I am not really submissive, and it is something else, altogether. But what?

entitled?

My generations future was sold to corporate interests by Neo-liberal boomers and gen Xers for the left over crumbs of a zero sum pie and a little bit of political power. If being vocally progressive on the social, political and ecological problems facing 99% of the earths population makes a whole generation "entitled brats" then so be it. Beets being part of a morally corrupt, willfully ignorant one. It's like your boi Bob said "Your old road is rapidly aging. Please get out of the new one If you can't lend your hand. For the times they are a-changin". :)

Are we Hypocrites?

We sit here and protest any petroleum pipeline through our region yet B.C.s number one commodity export is Coal we export 3 to 5 Billion dollars worth a year and it goes out of our ports of Vancouver and mainly to China. None of us are protesting Coal. Coal is the dirteist of the dirtiest of fossil fuels. Thats us baby.

Tricked

When I was dating my wife she used to regularly do something for me at least once a week. Once we got married this activity will happen once a year on my birthday if I am lucky. I just feel like she pulled the old bait and switch on me.

Ugly Xmas sweaters

Are without a doubt overrated. Why would I fork over so much money for something made real cheap just to wear it only once a year and look stupid?

To the idiots that constantly hound me

About why I hardly answer my phone. When I’m not on shift, I have a life. My life is complicated enough as it is and I really don’t have time for any of this bullshit. Please Fuck off.

not your average honey

I feel like i have you, like i almost finally have you. except you won't commit. I don't know why. other girls? I seem crazy in this unstable and under nourishing environment? cuz your a fckin drunk? I don't know why I'm chasing you or why you wont chase back; I guess you don't like lasagna with feta and roasted red peppers or new sex positions. I know the likely end result, I've done this before and it's over now. ok I do know why I'm doing this again. it's because I'm in a bad position in life, socially and other. And hope is a warm little lie that I just can't seem to throw out. Someday I hope you regret tossing this one, feeble bones!

First World Refugees

Face deep into some street meat after a late night show on Granville a few weeks ago, I was pondering the meaning of life, and it it dawned on me as I watched everyone stumbling around drunk...Vancouver is mostly full of people that have either moved from somewhere else to escape something, or are just looking for a better life. First world refugees.

Can't run this time

I had a dream that I was on a deserted island with hundreds of people. It had been years when finally a huge helicopter came to rescue us. It was lowering tiny canoes with random paddles floating in the water for each of us but when I finally got a boat every paddle was gone and the water was just strong enough that the canoe alone wouldn't take me anywhere. I screamed frantically and people looked back but no one would come for me. I helplessly drifted back to the island and realized my fate. It was somewhere in extreme conditions where the sun could almost burn you alive and there wasn't a tree in sight for shade. I collapsed in the sand as the helicopter faded into the distance, laid there staring into the sky wishing I would die right then and there. Dreams are strange the way they morph into another part, like a new scene in a movie. The next thing I knew I was picking up quarters from the sand. I found $4.75 all together as I excitedly put my head up, I was looking into a vanity putting on makeup. I had found enough money for a beer and was going to go party. My boyfriend didn't want me drinking but I was angry that he was still allowed so I was going to "teach him a lesson". My brother's weird hippie friend came into the room excited that I had found the money because he wanted to buy a joint. When I said no, he tried to rip it out of my hand and the next thing we were wrestling eachother on top of on overpass on a highway. I kicked him and he stumbled over the ledge. I couldn't believe what I had done over $5.00. I looked over the edge but all I saw were hundreds of smashed watermelons. Cars had slid and crashed into eachother. People were laying in blood, dead in their cars and car horns were blaring from people's heads laying on them. I started running as I knew I would surely go to jail for what I'd done. Three helicopters started chasing me. My legs almost couldn't take me any further. I had been running so fast that I couldn't breath anymore. My aunt started talking to me from the sky telling me to stop running and face what I had done. I began crying frantically collapsed in a field where the helicopters moved in on me. I was arrested and taken back to the island. I watched the helicopter fly away again. In real life I woke up sweating and crying. I believe all dreams have meaning. I'm an alcoholic who unfortunately has created a tragic mess of my life. Maybe my soul is trying to tell me to give up drinking. I've caused so much pain and heart ache in my own and others' lives. It's time to face the music and try to fix what damage I've done. I don't want to keep running any longer. My aunt was like my mother. She raised me. Sadly, she passed way in March. I think she has been looking down on me and has seen my life getting worse. Her voice in the sky was so clear telling me to stop running. I want my life to be different.. to be better. I poured the rest of my vodka down the sink. I hope I can do this. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope anyone else struggling with addiction can push through and change their life the way I'd like to. You're not alone.

Thought we cared about the environment

So I'm going to run out and buy an Ugly Christmas sweater that was made by a child in India for peanuts. Marked up sold to my sorry ass and I'll wear it for one night while getting wasted. Yay for sustainability!

Stranger on a train

Vancouver was a nightmare. I would scale up a spiral of hope. Good Heaven I'm afraid that's not the way the screw turned. Confusion anger betrayal fear loathing not to mention Disorienting. All slithered along alcohol. For each declension a concomitant spectral rise up the other side. A lot of ups and downs in that town. Walking through the Park one day I'm thinking if only I could make a few tweaks a few twists in the right direction...suddenly on the path there appears a metal screw/ bolt. Made in France

I SAW YOU

Candian trivia in a Squamish kitchen

Hey Bronwyn, you were up visiting my roommate last week. We played this circa 1980's...