Confessions

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Oedipal

It kind of grosses me out that he married someone who looks identical to his mother.

I just picked up the phone

I'm not sure why but I let a great friendship lapse for 25 years, then one day picked up the phone and dialed my old friend. "It's sad", we agreed for having neglected each other so, but we just picked up like no time had passed at all.

Children

When you have children you are responsible for them. Not the government. It is not up to the government to support your children.

Diet Pop

I drink diet pop by the bucket full. It’s a nasty habit I can’t seem to break. I try to hide my burps all day long and drink it until the caffeine upsets my stomach and still keep drinking it. It’s nasty. I don’t seem to be able to stop. I can’t seem to find anything that replaces that perfect cool, sweet refreshing taste. I wish I could get this under control...I guess it’s not crack but it’s still nasty.

It's all coming back to me now

During those time when you're hanging with your significant other but feeling bored of watching t.v. and doing nothing, I start thinking to myself "what would I be doing if I were single?"

the poetry of rejection

brb bbiab fell asleep just forgot the kids hid my phone too busy to think about you doing some banking aka i am ignoring you i need to not chat with you i don't really care i am not interested i am not in to you i am so over this

Sticky Situation

I park my car in Shaunessy several blocks from work. This beautiful heritage mansion that was for sale for months recently sold. This week, the new owners put a padlock on the gate...but couldn't be bothered to salt or shovel their loooonnng piece of sidewalk. I was walking along the grass chewing a piece of gum and inspiration struck. Enjoy working that gum out of the lock you wealthy bastards! Revenge on the rich!

dropped

unresolved anxiety caused me to drop out of university, back and forth over 10 years. dropped 10 grand in courses. and now am back in school at 31. I study extremely hard and the kids around me are quick while i constantly stand at an average. Is this worth pursuing?

65 and shoplifting

Was in line at a grocery store when the young lady in front of me picked up a Toberlone, looked at the change in her hand, sighed and returned the choclatey goodness.When her back was turned, i slipped two bars into the bag on her arm. I meant to pay for them but got talking to the cashier and it slipped my mind, till i was halfway home so now i must confess my leap into criminality.....im not feeling too guilty either, so there

Aha! I've got it!

I've finally figured out my stance on Vancouver after years of confusion. You see, I love Vancouver. The only problem is, it's full of Vancouverites. ;)

To the Losers on instagram

Keep your naked legs in the bathtub to yourselves. Okay? Nobody cares. Smart people who really should be on Instagram have no time to brag about their fake wealth on social media. Mature people have more important things to do than show off their side boobs, cheap dollar store sunglasses or second hand range rovers. Please get a life.

Obnoxious

You were rude and invasive from the minute I sat down, and I was merely appeasing your crude commentary while I placed my order with the server behind the bar - a pleasant woman who has served me many times at the local burger-bar. I engaged in chatting with you simply because you wouldn't shut up with the bombardment of random questions, without waiting for or listening to my answers. You were insulting by offering your opinion on the food and drink that I ordered. You were irritating with the "name game" and complete lack of social graces. You were disgusting with the sexual overtones and implication that I was touching you intentionally, when I merely accidently brushed your leg because you were man-spread over three bar stools, so it was nearly impossible to avoid it. You wouldn't shut up while I tried to enjoy my meal. You lamely tried to compliment my hair, but invaded my space when you grabbed my braid. Then you finally crossed the line when I mentioned the gold-medal figure skaters that was about to be shown live on TV, and all you could say was how you "love the skin-tight uniforms so you could see their nipples". So when I then moved to the opposite end of the bar to finish my meal in peace away from you, you harass the bar-server and try to insult me with your comment about "… she'll probably only give you a 3 dollar tip, she's such a b…". I then saw you eyeing the other two women servers' backsides up and down as they walked past you. Look, Harry, NO server nor customer should ever, EVER have to put up with that kind of obnoxious crap! I gave the bar-server $40 for a meal that probably totalled $15, and told her "you keep all the rest for a tip, because you girls should not have to put up with that!". My confession - I so wanted to kick you in the f-ing nuts, but feared my foot would get stuck in the rolls between your tree-trunk legs. EEEEWWW! I went out hoping for a nice meal and watch a bit of the Olympics at my favourite local eatery. Instead, I got subjected to YOU! The reason I stared you down, eye-to-eye directly and intently, was to show you that I will not put up with your obnoxious behaviour. Your face is thoroughly engraved in my memory - I dare you to cross me ever again! Creep.

I lost myself

Trying to please everyone else. Now I'm losing everyone while I'm finding myself. This quote is exactly what I am going through right now. I feel as though the world has hardened me and I rarely see the good side/ beauty in things these days. To top that I feel stuck in this job that I hate , yet everyone is telling me it's a good job and I should be thankful. I struggle and list the pros and cons every day that I work there and can no longer take it. I try my hardest to do my best but what's the point if I don't feel good about it? Why should I pretend to support a company that I don't believe in? I am about to make a major career change , so here's to me, for once. Not everyone else.

I SAW YOU

Beginners' Yoga Class

We nearly bumped into each other leaving after the first two classes. After the final class we...