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Tired of anonymous messages to push for flirtations. It's like I haven't left junior high. I want real interaction.

It's not over

I feel like too many people think the virus is gone and is no longer a problem. I'm a nurse and we still have covid+ patients, so it's far from "out of sight, out of mind" for me. My partner was decently careful during the height of the pandemic, but she has completely let go of all precautions now. She hangs out in giant groups (which is allowed, yes) but none wear masks, they share cigarettes/vapes and drinks, and don't wash their hands. I'm sick of it, and want to keep my distance from her so I don't catch it from her irresponsible behaviour. Am I so burnt out that I'm becoming an oblivious A-hole, or am I justified in feeling this way?

Teresa Teng...

I love you... Although its been 20 years since you passed away but I am still into and listen to your music. It will be in my heart forever. Your words in the songs as well as your speech has given me some encouragement, peace and hope. Recently, some musical group in Vancouver played an instrumental rendition of one of your famous songs 'The Moon Represents My Heart' which is great... You are truly a powerful musical legend indeed, also an innocent, friendly, gentle and kind lady artist and will be sorely missed by many fans like me. People will remember you for a long long time. As a long time fan, I just want to say Thank you thank you so much for contributing to the music world all the way from Taiwan as well as giving many hope, love, happiness and positive energy to the world..especially during difficult times in which when the world desperately needs more love.. Your music symbolizes peace and prosperity. I promise you I will never give up despite the adversities in life. I shall overcome it. Thank you for being here at that right moment, Teresa Teng. I really appreciate it. With thanks, from one of your dedicated fans

I was a hopeless romantic.

Read too many L.M. Montgomery books I guess. Just simple things like walking in the moonlight would be so lovely. I'm starting to doubt those sorts of experiences will ever happen.

I......

... really like eating eggs. I always thought I didn't like them but then I watch Julia child and a bunch of other chefs cook them and they all seem to do them less than you get them in a restaurant they're sort of they're not runny like they're not liquidy they're just almost like a custard. I started doing them up in a double boiler and my goodness I honestly rarely eat anything and go I could eat that again.

I'm trying my best to quit self-sabatoging

and slow progress has been made. Less but persistent. A new beginning always helps but the past that can't be revisited permeates me with scars. I don't know how to be vulnerable and trust. I'm too used to people being obsessed with me, like stalkers or men who just want to fuck me. They cast me as a "manic pixie dream girl", the television trope that's only serving to aid the protagonist's growth, but it's quite literally all the components of nature and nurture that make up me that has made me unusual, I'm truly milquetoast internally. And I'm also still a person, not a trope. So I'm not used to what's normal, when people take it slow and are open to where it takes them. I wished he was vulnerable with me but I guess I wasn't with him either. It is just unfortunate to collect all these scars, I think someday I might become one big scar by my own hands.

Caretaking

a disabled older family member (not old enough for a nursing home) also with personality disorders. I need to do almost everything for them, with no other family to help. They are so mean to me all the time that I have come to just hate them so much. They don't know it and don't have the capacity to have a sane discussion. If I bring up even a small thing, they just explode. So I go on seething quietly inside which isn't good for my health. I used to have strategies to just roll with it but it has been so many years now that all that's left is hate.

I want to believe

that my luck is going to turn around, that life isn't against me, that there is hope, that life won't always feel this lonely. But when you're working flat out and you're flat broke, eating dollar store rice crackers and applesauce for dinner in an overheated room every night, it's tough.

Our new home's greatest feature

Our new home has a small but completely private backyard. The uninhibited sex any time day or night outside has totally rekindled our marriage.

I SAW YOU

Cycle daddy on the 99

I had to get my bike out so you could remove yours when you got out at Main. I didn't think...

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