Confessions

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Commenting on Facebook

I can no longer comment on news stories. I feel like Stalin would like this policy.

Not giving up

Hitting rock bottom. Lost my job. Lost my cat. Lost my babies. Partner left with the dog. He is interested in finding a younger woman to have kids with. Lost some family members who blame me. Left me with all the responsibilities. Hopefully he will not come after me for money. Have to build my life again. Getting rid of all the cruel and dishonourable people in my life. No more narcissists. No more blame. I did my best. Going to build again. Not giving up on my dreams. Will build my own business. Will find a partner to love me back. Will adopt some children that need a family. You will not crush me.

I finally did it

I deleted half my friends off Instagram because I prefer their in-person company to their on-line personalities.

Why not me?

I get jealous when I see that dogs eat better food and live in cleaner conditions than I do.

I know your secret

Your weird love/hate with yourself. Only loving whoever doesn't love you. It's why you seek out friends that look like doubles. And it's too bad. Because I do love you.

The Solution.

Awhile back people were complaining that women should approach men for dating. And then I thought why do men not just start up a band and then women will most certainly approach you. Problem solved pick up a guitar get some groupies. You are all welcome.

Greenest City

No Recycling containers for bottles or cans in skytrain stations, because that would cost too much, salt covering the road today because people can't give up their cars for a day and bc hydro has record breaking demand because turning up the heat is easier than putting on an extra sweater. Environmentalism in Vancouver is the perfect example of NIMBYism.

Sick Day

I went to work anyway because there's no sleeping with all the construction crews banging away in all directions.

New workout routine

I have thought about it for a while-- and there will not be any atkins, keto, vegan or other weird diets. My gym routine will, instead, change. I will eat the part of a chicken that reflects the body-part that I worked out for each day of the week. I cannot wait until it is a chicken-legs day. I suspect that this routine will actually work quite well, contrary to what naysayers may think.

Left out

I thought the two of us could get along fine But you had other thoughts in mind You seemed to sleep with everyone but why didn't I get a chance at some fun All shapes and sizes you gave them a shot so where was the signup to reserve my spot I'm certain I could have been the best I knew you deeper than the rest More than sex, we could have talked too But no chance now, everything is through Looks like you're done with that life now But if you change your mind, I'm not bad with the plow.

No Seconds

A few weeks ago I went out on a date with a woman and things went well, we both ended up at my place. She said she had a fun time and I did too, I wanted to see her again but then something happened. The first night we went out she insisted on going dutch. I was fine with this, is she wants to pay her end of the bill that's cool. I don't hold any ill will and thought it was great that she didn't rely on guys to pay for her. But then for the second date I was going to have her to my place and cook. I'm a good cook and had planned a nice starter, main and dessert, wine too. Late in the day she messages me saying she might not be able to make it as it will be a $40.00 taxi ride each way. At first she was hinting that I should pay for some and when I resisted she came right out and asked. This really took me back, I didn't ask her to kick in for 50% of my grocery bill for the meal I planned, or for the bottle of wine. That's being a good host to me. And the same I wouldn't arrive at someone's house and ask them for taxi fare, as an adult I find that I'm responsible for myself. So the end result is she got pissed and the date didn't happen. I'm not so upset, but I find it strange to ask something like this. Am I missing something? Not as woke as I thought? Or is this woman a little nuts?

I don't feel good about the world anymore

There's just so much moral decay. It looks like there is a march to destroy everything that once had meaning and the only thing that matters is money. What happened to culture? Big banks and consumers will be happy... except nobody will truly be happy.

a letter to home I thought I'd never write

I moved away from Van years ago and still follow the Straight and read the confessions because it's a little tether to the real soul of the city that I miss. I went through so much pain in the few years before leaving, and I see parts of myself and my old life in so many of these posts. Even now, I sometimes take an evening to listen to music from those times, look at photos of those parts of the city that the music takes me back to, feel an ache of nostalgia. The long walks/transit rides I'd take all over the city, to try and dent the isolation I felt, have something free to do. Maybe I sound bananas but in a way, the physical city was always there for me. I felt connected to my surroundings when I felt no other sense of connection. Eventually though, that feeling faded because all the issues that have seemingly ruined the city were setting off my survival alarm. I grew disgusted at the direction things were moving and packed up to another province in a huge huff, then immediately longed for home like a spoiled brat. You take yourself with you wherever you go! I have grown a LOT since then, especially since my money goes a lot farther where I live now, and that load off has allowed for healing. I read these pissed off posts of rightfully angry Vancouverites and I feel a mixture of relief that I got out, and a wave of compassion...there is no pity or self-congratulations. I was living with PTSD in van and have fought tooth & nail for the dreams I've reached since. It took having nothing left to lose, and leaving my beloved city almost empty-handed. I want to take your faces in my hands, look into your eyes and tell you that it will be OK. Please don't be afraid to leave the city behind if you want to & can, it will always be there. Your relationships with your loved ones can grow even richer over the phone. You can find the man or woman of your dreams (I did!). You will be more open to love when you start anew. There are towns that need your skills. This country is massive and full of good people who will help you when you earn their trust. I know it sounds trite but cutting the cord, slogging through the ensuing grief and using it to better myself, raised my vibration to attract what I was needing in van. May you all find happiness and meaning....times are tough but so are you. Much love.

To be honest

Facebook censorship = boo. We're all adults. Just get people in trouble with the law if they're over the line.