Search confessions

Pearls of Wisdom

I though this quote from Garrison Keillor summed up being single the best. " A single guy can walk around without explaining it to anyone.Married guys can't go nowhere. There always has to be a plan, a list of errands , a system, a destination. Alone, your life in intuitive, like poetry. With a woman, it's a form of bookkeeping."

Gaslit again

Getting gaslit always has such an effect on me. Being told I'm interpreting reality differently scares me, especially when it's from someone who is supposed to help, be supportive, or etc. I start questioning simple jokes from people who have never gaslit me. I relive the events, wondering if I AM wrong about my experience. I feel myself becoming wary and distrusting. It's hard to maintain a positive, trusting outlook when this keeps happening. I feel so embarrassed that it affects me like this and I feel weak that I allow it to happen.

Pierced Septum

I don't get why septum piercings are now somehow a part of queer culture. They look ugly and ridiculous on anyone. Unless you're cattle, maybe.

It finally dawned on me why

some drivers speed from red light to red light, it’s so they can check their damm phones. You see their heads bobbing up and down while waiting for the light to change. You’re not fooling anyone so stop it.

ART or art

Sometimes it is difficult to appreciate the artist's viewpoint and often subjective interpretation. Is it fair to call it art if it is a series of drawings based on someone else's photos? If I trace the picture first using a light table or computer methods and then add my own color and details, is it still my art or do I have to credit the photographer? No one seems to care because online no one can tell how the art was actually produced unless the artist shared their methods.

Confusing Your Units

I don't get too hung up on how tall someone is, but I find I get turned off when folks don't know the difference between ' (feet) and " (inches) when stating their height on their dating bios. It would seem there are an incredible number of people that are 5 inches tall. From there it just gets a bit silly. I'd totally recommend metric.

Christmas spirit

Got my Christmas lights up this weekend, well almost. Fell off my ladder, busted my arm. I got home and was sitting inside looking out at my half strung lights drinking a hot chocolate. Course I busted my dominant arm so was holding hot chocolate in my left hand. I spilled my full cup of hot chocolate onto my crotch and burned my nads. I may just give up on decorating for Christmas this year.


Is the most fucking challenging thing I’ve ever experienced hands down ever. People say I’m a patient motherfucker but this shit drives me nuts thought. Fuck. Chill?

Alzheimer's soul

My mind may be here still but since you stole my soul (after setting it on fire) ...( why did you do that anyway?!)...

Goddamn hook ups

I moved back to Vancouver a year ago and have been frequently hooking up with a friend-of-a-friend for a couple months. I came out of a long term relationship ages ago but haven't done the casual dating or hooking up thing in a while and I mentioned to him that I had some trepidation. He told me that he values transparency and only sees one person at a time for extended periods of time because it gets too complex. Surprise surprise, I just found out that when we started hooking up, his recent 'official' girlfriend had just left on a girls vacation, and since she's come back he's been dating her and fucking me. Christ, can I pick 'em or what?

Advice for Men

I am a married man and my advice to young men after seeing divorce for most of my friends is as following: 1) When selecting a woman make sure she has a job, education, and strong work ethic. 2) Looks are not the most important thing. Go for a 7 with a good personality over the 9 who has no personality. 3) Make sure the woman knows how to cook. 4) Watch what she puts in her body. A woman in her 20's can eat like a pig and still look good but when she hits her 30's and 40's there is a very good chance she will be obese. 5) If a woman has only male friends. That's a giant red flag. 6) If a woman tells you she is crazy she probably is. 7) If a woman tells you she has cheated on a partner in the past avoid her. Chances are she will do it again. 10) Make sure she knows how to save money and not spend money frivolously. 11) Make sure she doesn't do drugs or drink excessively. I think if more men listened to my advice they wouldn't be divorced and living in their car eating cans of beans for dinner every night.


I've never felt attractive in my life. I can't imagine what that would even be like.


What do you do when you have no purpose, meaning or connection? When all you have known is pain and struggle, and nothing improves? When you ve only wanted to be healthy and happy, and help others, but continue to deteriorate and doctors and treatments not helping? Ive tried countless medications, treatments, and some issues the doctors are perplexed by and can't diagnose despite tests indicating otherwise. To not feel connected to anyone or anything, yet so desperately wanting to feel understood for the pain you endure from mental, and physical health issues, but appear "normal" from the outside while barely surviving, and struggling with finding any reason to keep going... Yes I've been in counseling for years and still am, tried countless meds, and treatments for depression, PTSD, and OCD. Treatment resistant depression is extremely difficult to treat. My other chronic issues and pain are difficult and doctors have been useless... Though I still go. Despite falling seriously physically ill due to grave medical mistakes and my life being jeopardized twice.... Hate doctors. Believe your patients, I nearly paid the price, and honestly wish I did pass. To know I'll never find love again because who would want to be with someone so sick. Though there are the rare men that love women in spite of that and I've had that once, but many years ago. people close to me say you have the most awful luck, and im tired of trying to be strong. There are many of us that look able bodied from the outside, that put on a facade to hide at work, with friends that just don't get it.... the fact we are drowning and are dealing with obstacles that would break anyone.... Be kind, be open, listen, and be empathetic. There are so many of us that deal with intolerable suffering. I look at humanity, and wonder why, why do so many others that are good people struggle so much while such horrible people flourish and have everything and take life for granted, their health, their partners, friends, and the great lives they do have. I would give anything to not have a broken mind and body, to feel joy, have a partner, work ft and just have normalcy, and regular things.

I hate my partner

My partner is a narssastic bully. We never talk about anything but how fantastic he is. I'm desperately lonely and counting the days until I can escape. I have dreams of my own home where I will be free from his cruelty and constant demands. I hate him so much that some times I'm afraid I will blurt it out. Meanwhile everyone thinks my life is fine... even if my partner is a bit of a jerk.

Forget it

How many times have I forgiven you , for what ? See there was a time you had my heart to do right with . You chose to shit kicked it to a point of no return . So if that's what you were going for , well shit girl nicely done . So this is my new reality , love is a goof that makes you stupid and weak . Why love another when you can simply have them and go . I confess this . I will never chase love again it hurts too much . Now I only intend to fill my selfish sexual needs .


Waiting for the music to begin ... man...

You filed in with a slow building crowd to attend the same piano concert I was there to hear. You...