Search confessions

Deleting Facebook ( or Fakebook)

I've been seriously considering deleting my facebook account. I haven't posted anything in years other than being tagged in photos by my friends. I was initially happy to be able to reconnect with old friends until I realized that even though we are " connected" ( on social media, that is), we are not really connected in real life anymore. Besides, I don't care about their selfies or babies photos and I'm not going to "like" their photos just so they like mine in return. I just don't have the energy and I think there are better ways of spending my time. I figured that if someone really wants to contact me, they can still call or email me. Have any of you who have deleted their facebook accounts ever regretted it?

Drugs fucking ruined me.

Last year, I left rehab with high hopes. I gained a great job, had recently met the most amazing woman I will ever meet, and things were looking good. I moved into a recovery house in N. Vancouver, and began my new sober life. 6 weeks later, last February, I lost my job due to my temper, and relapsed the same day. Over the next six months, my mental health deteriorated, I completely pushed away the beautiful woman of my dreams, with copious, insane emails to her, proclaiming my undying love for her, and pretty much became a borderline creepy stalker, with the huge amounts of meth and heroin I was doing, and the behaviour towards her. I could not see how insane my behaviour was until recently, as my drug use has greatly reduced, and meth is out of the picture completely. I never would have imagined in a million years, I became what I did last year. I have always been a popular guy, and have always had beautiful girlfriends. Last year I became the type of guy I used to make fun of, or even want to punch in the face. I have nothing left now. No friends, family, job, and I did it to myself. None of that hurts. The most painful feelings I have ever experienced are from messing up with this little beautiful Taurus, I met in rehab. She was beautiful if every sense of the word, and she never saw the "real me", only some creepy, crazy junkie fuck, I hate as well. The last time I saw her, is the worst memory of my life, and I only wish I could take it all back. I am going back to rehab, and hope someday she will allow me to buy her a coffee. Fuck drugs.

The Prettiest Girl in the World

A long time ago in a land far far away (from where I am now) I met the prettiest girl in the world. It took me by surprise because I had already known her for some time. But at some point something changed and I saw the real her for the first time. And I wasn't in the position to ask her out or express how I felt so I kept those thoughts hidden away, until one day they leaked out anyway as contained feelings tend to do, and it turned out the prettiest girl in the world didn't see me the same. And I didn't live happily ever after. But I hope she did.

I've Missed The Rain

Sometimes I feel I could just spend hours in and out of the woods far away from the city just breathing in that cool, rain-fresh air.

OK, I'm standing in line

at my workplace cafeteria waiting for my favorite cashier to ring me up. She and I have been flirting for years, harmless stuff. I tell her that her eyes look different today, different style of makeup. Just then the lady behind me says, "Don't listen to him, you look great!" First off, I told my friend her eye makeup looked different, not bad. Secondly, mind your own fucking business!

I realize

the "friends" i never hear from often come back into my life because they need something...a job referrel, a contact or letter of be another random body at a birthday party. I reiterate though...mostly favors. Otherwise these people are rather dismissive...until they need something. Well you can now "fukkk off" friends. =)


When I was a kid, there was a brand of potato chips called O'Ryans produced here in Canada. I loved them. There was a little leprechaun mascot on the bag and a shamrock in place of the apostrophe. They came in two flavors: sour cream'n onion alone or with bacon. They were thick cut with ridges to hold all that delicious savoury flavor. After NAFTA, the company that made them got bought up by an American conglomerate and discontinued. Thanks, Mulroney :( I'm almost 40 years old now and I still think about them. I've tried so many other brands over the years and nothing even comes close to being as good. If I had a time machine, I would go back and find a way to stop NAFTA just so I could have my chips back. I'd also be willing to pledge my soul for eternity to anyone who still has the recipe for O'Ryans and would start making them again. Yes, I love chips.

linger on your pale blue eyes

one night, a while ago, I hooked up with my friend, who is also a good friend's ex. We are pretending it never happened, for various reasons...but now he's infiltrated my dreams. I can't do anything about this, for the various reasons mentioned. I just have to confess to someone how weird it is to have known someone for so many years and then all of a sudden to realize how blue their eyes are. How did I never notice? Why can't I stop thinking about them? I fear I am smitten.


AVA - 210 at night

Hey, we chatted for a while about your thorough knowledge of the buses, and commercial drive...

More on