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This pandemic

has given me a mental disorder. I sit for hours and look through my hair for split ends and pull them off until my neck and back ache and my mind goes completely numb. I can’t stop.

Dog commentary

Being a dog owner,I of course take my dog on many walks. My Pug is 11. People always stop to say hi,ask how old he is etc. which is all fine. The part I don’t get is “oh,mine lived to 10,mine lived to 12,etc,etc. Yes,that’s what I want to hear on my walk. ...how my beautiful dog only has a year or two left. Seriously.

Annoying Dream Confession

Any time I dream about my boyfriend it's super stressful but when I dream about one of my exes, it's always very sweet and positive.

Small Talk

I have been working in customer service jobs for years and one of the required skills is ability to engage in small talk. A question I get asked, sometimes multiple times a day is, "How is your day going so far"? Usually when I have just started work, and have only been awake for a couple of hours by that point; or when I'm really busy, being run off my feet and am clearly stressed out. The only real option is to cheerfully answer "it's fine thank you". Nobody wants to hear that I'm stressed out or tired. It infuriates me when I get asked this question, I guess because it is so inane and thoughtless.

Truth be told

I just learned the truth about what really happened to my childhood security blanket. Turns out it wasn’t accidentally left behind at that motel my family stayed at that night. My Mom just confessed that she told me that because that decided that 5 years old was too old for a blanket. I’m 68 and it still hurts me to know that they denied me even that comfort.

Kill the Singer

I despise my sister's fiance and I can't conceal it any longer. He doesn't even consider her to the point where he takes the car to see friends while she is forced to carry home heavy groceries for 30minutes, in the rain. He is using COVID as an excuse to keep her from her family and friends, while his "bubble" seems to include whomever he wants to socialize with. She is joyless from working all the time to support them as well as taking on all of the household chores because he is "focused on his music". He controls their social calendar and prioritizes holidays for his relatives only. If I want to see her these days, I have to expressly invite her over to my house and even then he comes along and is surly and miserable and an uncomfortable cloud hangs over his area the entire time. The only thing worse than how he treats her is that she said "yes" and actually wants to spend the rest of her life living like this. I am worried as I haven't seen her smile or her eyes shine in all the years she has been with him.

A Long Time Ago

I was a normal person. I wasn't always a hermit. I built this cave, the filth, the pallid complexion and the mumbling over the past decade, but before that I was just a simple guy who liked a young woman. She smelled good and she was spontaneous and fun. I knew this was the woman for me... but unfortunately she didn't feel the same. So I did what any normal guy would do and I fled into the woods and built my lair of shame.

Cringe

“Unlock value for shareholders” phrase makes me retch.

Extreme loneliness will make you do crazy things

such as meeting a man, stupidly believing him when he said he had to go back to his hotel room because he forgot his phone, and narrowly escaped being raped, running as fast as I could through the cold, wet, lonely, dark streets.

Pegging

I asked my wife how it felt to get fucked up her ass so she said I will show you she got a double head dilldo and showed me I love it

I SAW YOU

Gods will

I drove you to work down commercial drive. We spoke briefly about you becoming a corrections...

SAVAGE LOVE

Savage Love: Fantasies real or imagined can be fun until hubby brings up his ex-fiancée

Dan Savage tries to put things in perspective for a woman who received a rude surprise after a fantastic session of oral sex.

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