About why I hardly answer my phone. When I’m not on shift, I have a life. My life is complicated enough as it is and I really don’t have time for any of this bullshit. Please Fuck off.
I feel like i have you, like i almost finally have you. except you won't commit. I don't know why. other girls? I seem crazy in this unstable and under nourishing environment? cuz your a fckin drunk? I don't know why I'm chasing you or why you wont chase back; I guess you don't like lasagna with feta and roasted red peppers or new sex positions. I know the likely end result, I've done this before and it's over now. ok I do know why I'm doing this again. it's because I'm in a bad position in life, socially and other. And hope is a warm little lie that I just can't seem to throw out. Someday I hope you regret tossing this one, feeble bones!
Face deep into some street meat after a late night show on Granville a few weeks ago, I was pondering the meaning of life, and it it dawned on me as I watched everyone stumbling around drunk...Vancouver is mostly full of people that have either moved from somewhere else to escape something, or are just looking for a better life. First world refugees.
I had a dream that I was on a deserted island with hundreds of people. It had been years when finally a huge helicopter came to rescue us. It was lowering tiny canoes with random paddles floating in the water for each of us but when I finally got a boat every paddle was gone and the water was just strong enough that the canoe alone wouldn't take me anywhere. I screamed frantically and people looked back but no one would come for me. I helplessly drifted back to the island and realized my fate. It was somewhere in extreme conditions where the sun could almost burn you alive and there wasn't a tree in sight for shade. I collapsed in the sand as the helicopter faded into the distance, laid there staring into the sky wishing I would die right then and there.
Dreams are strange the way they morph into another part, like a new scene in a movie. The next thing I knew I was picking up quarters from the sand. I found $4.75 all together as I excitedly put my head up, I was looking into a vanity putting on makeup. I had found enough money for a beer and was going to go party. My boyfriend didn't want me drinking but I was angry that he was still allowed so I was going to "teach him a lesson". My brother's weird hippie friend came into the room excited that I had found the money because he wanted to buy a joint. When I said no, he tried to rip it out of my hand and the next thing we were wrestling eachother on top of on overpass on a highway. I kicked him and he stumbled over the ledge. I couldn't believe what I had done over $5.00. I looked over the edge but all I saw were hundreds of smashed watermelons. Cars had slid and crashed into eachother. People were laying in blood, dead in their cars and car horns were blaring from people's heads laying on them. I started running as I knew I would surely go to jail for what I'd done. Three helicopters started chasing me. My legs almost couldn't take me any further. I had been running so fast that I couldn't breath anymore. My aunt started talking to me from the sky telling me to stop running and face what I had done. I began crying frantically collapsed in a field where the helicopters moved in on me. I was arrested and taken back to the island. I watched the helicopter fly away again. In real life I woke up sweating and crying.
I believe all dreams have meaning. I'm an alcoholic who unfortunately has created a tragic mess of my life. Maybe my soul is trying to tell me to give up drinking. I've caused so much pain and heart ache in my own and others' lives. It's time to face the music and try to fix what damage I've done. I don't want to keep running any longer.
My aunt was like my mother. She raised me. Sadly, she passed way in March. I think she has been looking down on me and has seen my life getting worse. Her voice in the sky was so clear telling me to stop running.
I want my life to be different.. to be better. I poured the rest of my vodka down the sink. I hope I can do this.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope anyone else struggling with addiction can push through and change their life the way I'd like to. You're not alone.
So I'm going to run out and buy an Ugly Christmas sweater that was made by a child in India for peanuts. Marked up sold to my sorry ass and I'll wear it for one night while getting wasted. Yay for sustainability!
Vancouver was a nightmare. I would scale up a spiral of hope. Good Heaven I'm afraid that's not the way the screw turned. Confusion anger betrayal fear loathing not to mention Disorienting. All slithered along alcohol. For each declension a concomitant spectral rise up the other side. A lot of ups and downs in that town. Walking through the Park one day I'm thinking if only I could make a few tweaks a few twists in the right direction...suddenly on the path there appears a metal screw/ bolt. Made in France
I want to tell my wife I crossdress, and her to accept me as her girl on girl partner. We would have mutual sex with toys and strap ons. Then we could go clubbing as girlfriends and flirt with men maybe have a threesome with a alpha man who would dominate us both. I want to watch him make her orgasam knowing that he's going to do the same to me next!
Weird and not good but nothing to do about it. All I have to say is poo poo poo poo poo poo poo.
Who keeps ranting on about politics. People are ignoring you. I don’t think anyone really has time for your bullshit. Go hop on another bus on route to the Please Get A Life Foundation.
I was gobsmacked. Didn’t know what to say. He said ‘so what if my family gets sick, they’re not bothering anyone.’
I didn’t know what to say. What about those in our society who are immunosuppressed because of cancer, or young babies, or the elderly, or the fact that left unchecked, these diseases might mutate into something a vaccine eventually won’t be able to help, or the fact that there have been multiple worldwide outbreaks and deaths from preventable diseases like measles, even AFTER the original BS scientist has been discredited as a lunatic?
How delusional do you have to be to believe that “Researching some stuff on the internet” = having a medical degree?!
Just broke up with my gf as I found out I now have herpes because she at the time had a cold sore and apparently the same strain that causes cold sores on the face can manifest down there. I’d always thought herpes is something you get from risky unprotected sex and you are completely safe if you don’t sleep around and demand that your partners get tested.
Now I’m really sad. I am a pretty, smart, kind, hard-working man that’s always wanted a monogamous relationship and a family, but who’s going to even want to date me now if I say I’ve contracted herpes? I don’t think anyone will care which strain it is, just where it’s come up.
Not looking for sympathy, as I understand I could have been more educated about the issue, but I hope reading a confession like this will help some people to be kinder and not perpetuate the stigma around this annoying skin infection.
Of wanting to sleep with just about every man I see. I don't know why it is but old, young, big, small, any skin tone, it doesn't matter. When I meet most men I'll find something attractive about them and really want to have them. Of course I can never tell anyone and don't act on this unless I actually like the person and sex is possible. But if I had my way I'd be fucking everything under the sun. Call me an sexuality explorer, I don't care, this is me.
And before everyone goes nuts I'm very respectful towards men. I just wish that we didn't build sex up as this end all be all thing and we could be a little more casual about it.
I want to tell you how much I miss you. I miss your smile, your crinkled eyes and your laugh. When I see a picture of you, it makes me happy, but also forms a knot in my stomach. I miss my friend, I miss my love. I wish you’d think of me too. I wish you’d miss me. Through everything that happened, I miss you and love you still. One day I’ll be strong enough to tell you, or better yet. Strong enough to let go.
CAN people stop getting on the bus through the back? Wtf. Half the people don’t pay. That’s no fair. And everybody’s waiting in line half the time. I’ve called translink before. Nobody is supposed to do that. Drivers don’t speak up in case passengers would hurt them. But I get so pissed not being able to get on cuz some jerks think they can skip the line and be smart by getting on the back. The hell.
Iwhen i read this confession i said yes it is very sad happen to me I gess it's very comon these days met a woman this summer we foll in love both of us 50 years old I thought what could go wrong i was so happy but like everything in this world everything went wrong made many plans that never happen yes it is very sad