29F and I’ve never had a fulfilling relationship where I’ve felt genuinely cared about. I was single for most of my 20s where I didn’t put the focus on dating. In the last 2 years I’ve made more effort on dating apps and would initiate chats and dates but couldn’t find anyone willing to commit or show any real interest. Really feeling like I’ll be single forever and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m friendly, caring, and put effort into my physical appearance but have yet to find anyone who cares about me even half as much as I care about them :( not sure if ranting or looking for advice but here I am
I went through a divorce about 20 years ago. At the time we only had one child still living at home, with the others having moved out as young adults. The divorce had been years in the making, although my ex and I were still amicable and no lawyers were needed since we split our assets without them being needed. As I was very worried about the impact of it on my youngest (early teens), once we had told the kids about our decision, we took him to therapy to help him work through any concerns he had. Unfortunately, he fooled us all and convinced both us and the therapist that he was very well-adjusted and could handle it. We shared joint custody and my ex bought out my share of our house and our youngest chose to stay in that home primarily, with visits to me on weekends. I remained as involved as usual with his school, and I handled all of the usual medical and dental appointments and shopping for clothes, etc. What I didn’t know was that my ex had completely fallen apart and had completely disengaged as a parent in the process. Our youngest was led to believe that I was totally to blame for the breakup, and my ex encouraged him to think that I wasn’t paying child support and that I had “abandoned” him. As a result, my son became very reluctant to come for visits, and was very rebellious towards me. I had no way of knowing what was going on in their house until my kids told me many years later. The damage has been long term. My son suffers from severe depression and anxiety. Our relationship is still very tumultuous. He has a huge amount of anger towards me, and I’m sure that much of it is because of the misinformation he was fed as a child that he still believes. If only I’d known what was taking place, I could have fought for primary custody. I would have insisted on joint therapy to help him understand what was going on. Now he’s an adult, and he’s still suffering from our decision to divorce. So for anyone considering a divorce right now where children are involved, PLEASE take my advice and make sure that you really know what’s going on when you’re not around.
So I really needed a haircut and got one,
even though I had a zit on the back of my neck. That’s life sometimes.
After 30 years of marriage, I just want to live by myself. I’m done, I need my freedom.
I don't ask for references from people who I do not respect.
Sometimes I don't eat dinner because I'm too lazy to make it. I will snack to keep my tummy happy.....but tonight I don't have snacks and I'm starving :( Shoulda ordered a pizza.
I'm an Oscar caliber acting now. Tears flow at command and the believability is gross. Well I hear Hollywood north is back up and running soon. First id lime to thank all my haters.
I peaked in 2019 it seems.
Can’t think of any reasons why, but my friend (or who I thought was my friend) unfollowed me on social media and has even unfollowed me a 2nd time when I tried to add them back. We never had any disagreement or even had differing views on anything. So unsure what the point of contention was. Maybe I am not cool enough or don’t fit into their curated social media presence. I guess 2020 is the year all my relationships suffer from lack of physical or digital contact and aren’t nourished like how they are in previous years. Or it could be that unemployment, underemployment, illness, poverty, uncertainty have wreaked havoc on people’s ability to maintain friendships. I don’t know. Just bummed that my world is so small now and friends are disappearing for reasons unknown. That’s all, thanks for reading.
Warning: A little cheesy, don’t read if you don’t want to cringe.
So this guy I liked him back in highschool but then I stopped liking him when we graduated(2016). Then just recently because of Covid I saw him again. Me and my brother kind of have the same group of friends. So this summer I got to hang out with this guy again after all this years not seeing him even once and everyone else. It’s cool and all but I started liking him again but this time it’s deep. Like every time I see him I get nervous and like suddenly my body and brain don’t know how to fcking function lol. I get super conscious when he’s around. I say many dumb shit and I look stupid but I make him laugh though we had this long roadtrip with him and friends as well. I almost got the courage to tell him that I like him but good thing I didn’t. I think he noticed that I like him when we had this roadtrip. I certainly think our friends and even my brother noticed. You know I noticed everytime he’s making a joke he looks at me first. And this one time I was playing guitar and kind of singing too, my brother was like “I told you she can play guitar and sing as well” to this guy that I like. So they definitely had a conversation about me. I know I don’t have a tiny bit of chance with him. Cuz he just sees me as my brother’s little sister. But like even if he doesn’t like me, all I want is for him to be happy even if it’s not with me. I want what’s best for him :( I don’t like seeing him hurt. Like if he has any worries about literally anything I’m always here for him no matter what. If he needs support with anything I’ll be there if he just let me. I can give him the love he deserves. But sadly I am not the one he wants. I just needed to let this out somewhere cuz I don’t have anyone to tell my feelings to :( #FckFeelings