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Never getting better

I was abused by my husband in every way for 17 years, I have PTSD from it. A year after I left him I met a man I let my guard down and I trusted him and loved him and then he cheated on me. My ex owes me over $10,000 in child support and he's doing everything possible not to pay it. Everyone tells me how strong I am but I'm not... I'm hanging on by a thread for my kids. I used to have hope that it would all get better but you know I know it's not going to. I know life isn't fair but it just seems like for some people it's more fair.

It makes me feel dirty when I think about..

..buying weed at a government bud store..for decades they kept their thumb on the bud..now government realizes that they are going broke and they need the tax revenue...dont fool yourself it is not about our freedom..it is all about the taxes..so I think I will keep calling my buddy..he deserves the revenue and I salute the government with a little digitus imputicus..

Dumb Luck

Sometimes making it 'big' is just through dumb luck. I met my husband online 14 years ago. We both had entry level positions making 35k a year. He rose up the ranks quickly and now makes 500k a year. We live a very comfortable life. But I didn't sweat and toil to get here. I know I'm really lucky and am very grateful. But I know it was just dumb luck I met a really talented guy.

Does not compute

I don't understand how people go to gyms. I mean, I exercise and work out. But the thought of having to go somewhere to do it, and then be surrounded by a bunch of strangers, and pay a monthly fee. I get it, they have lots of cool machines you don't have at home. But there is not much you can't work out with a floor, dumbbells, pull-up bar. I know, I know, different strokes for different folks. I just find the thought of working out surrounded by strangers very weird. Peace and love to everyone! There is room for all of us here on earth!

Poly busy

Thought in would be great to have a few men at a time.Turns out its way more work then I could have imagined.All the amazing sex is not as passionate as one would hope and I’m getting tired of driving to them at their convenient.

No one cooked for me when mom died

Mom died a year ago. No one cooked for me, no one brought food. They helped a bit with clothes, books and other stuff. Fundamentally I was hosting them and had to cook and serve and make big decisions. Not once was a meal offered. Not once was I told to just sit and relax and allow myself to be cared for. The very day my mom died, the first friend to show up didn't even raise a finger and I had to cook for the both of us. She just talked about herself. Then, no invitations over the holidays. Alone on Thanksgiving and Christmas. No one called or invited. My neighbours knew what happened, they couldn't be bothered to have me over for tea. I am using this experience to remind myself why I want and need to leave the west coast. I'm hoping to find a better place.

Duplicitous

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to be a person of conscience living in this city. Living in this city, for the lucky ones who can afford to, involves stifling your conscience on a daily basis. Pretending the scope and scale of blatant homelessness isn’t a crisis. Apologizing to those asking for money. Not gawking at the poor souls locked in a half-bent fentanyl-induced pose in the middle of the day, on a busy route. The constant need to turn a blind eye is turning me into a soulless callous person.

Driving the Midnight Streets

I can't sleep. Keys jingling as I shift into drive. I feel like a goldfish in a bowl. Around and 'round with no claims to a home. Where are the gentle places and soft melodies? Only saccharine brews and smiles. Where is that haven where I have a name? Seeking a snoezelen eremite paradise.

Paying myself first

When it occurred to me that the idea "pay yourself first" was more than just good financial advice—and it wasn’t selfish in the least—my life started getting better in all kinds of miraculous ways. I invest my time more wisely, don’t waste it on foolish people, and enjoy the sorts of simple things now that I had thought I’d only "get around to later". Oh, and I’ve socked away a lot of dough into savings. Life’s sweet.

Defeat

My leaps and strides over the years have barely ever counted as babysteps to anyone I made matter . There was a point where my thoughtless enthusiasm attracted friends and even a lover, but as soon as I attempted to care I was low digits on the score cards. And I let it bother me. So much so that I got stuck in sadness and hurt. Yes I'm "sensitive ".. so f@#$ING what. I give up. I never came here to gain your praise. I don't wanna be anything anymore . Im the kind who can't fit. Enjoy. I can't do this anymore

I SAW YOU

It’s hard to give a bus driver your number

I had been walking in Pacific Spirit and got on the number 14 eastbound by the golf course. I...

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