Real life is over. Got to date women online. Now I just need someone to message me back... or wait. That will never happen, so we're all doomed to be single forever. I can't wait to live in a real city again... There's something creepy about Vancouver dating.
I know a lot of people who's strength of relationship has always been based on time apart. working schedules. modest co-parenting interaction with previous relationships.
These people have always had stable strong relationships.
I worry for them.
faking confidence right now isn't fooling anyone.
In a twisted selfish way, the positive (if any) from this Covid-19 pandemic is that I now have the time to watch the Food Network for several hours per day to give me new ideas and improve my baking.
Just a text. One line at least telling me to have a good day or asking how I'm doing. Nothing. Is he busy? Nope. He's doing some reading, playing a video game, talking to family. Good for him. Sending a text takes less than a minute. Can he spare the time? Nope.
Wow. I check-in. Hey, hope you're doing okay. I facepalm myself. What am I doing? This douchecanoe is making it painfully clear that on his ginormous list of very pressing priorities of like: picking the lint out from between his toes, watching the sway of cobwebs on his bedroom ceiling, contemplating how many squares of toilet paper it really takes to wipe... I don't even make the list.
I'm busy with work, family, life, staying sane amidst all this. Yet nothing causes me to feel more perplexed than this persons behavior. Why is that? How am I finding it so hard to kick this guano scum sucking man child to the curb?
Maybe because I am desperate to invest in anyone other than myself? Is that why?
When things are up for others, my life is down. And when the world is low, so low, my life looks up; problems suddenly smoothed over. It's like creating a science project for how the human eye processes light. Did you know that through that looking glass things present as upsidedown but that the mind adjusts the image? Finally, it feels like the rest of the world recognizes it. I suddenly feel sane within the insanity. Welcome. You've finally woken up to how the other half lives. While sitting upswung on this playground I wait for the balance to tip the scales once again and for my shoes to drop.
My sanity and patience is being tested during this Covid-19 pandemic.
I need to buy a punching bag or else I'm going to put my fist through my living room wall.
I am a woman. I use hinge. If I make the effort to comment on something on your profile and you decide to match but then “invite ____ to start the conversation” don’t expect a response back.
Put in some effort. I am going to start giving you guys 24hrs to say something then unmatch.
... last night. Imperial Dollar Bills for a re-united British Empire, with the insignia of the Order of the Stare of India, the motto HEAVEN'S LIGHT OUR GUIDE.
Then I was rudely woken up.
I had gathered courage and was just about to ask out the girl I've liked for awhile.
I cant beleive these turn of events.
What is with this life, anyways ?
Im a strong person.
Even more than I realised, but a person has limits.
I am determined.
Whats Next ?
Bumps in the road
So many bumps...