Search confessions

More Than Friends

I want to tell my friend with benefits that I’m in love with him but I can’t because it’ll ruin everything so I’ll just say it here. I love you!!!! I want you to love me too but you totally don’t. Fuck.

zoom paradox

Seeing someone through the distance of a zoom screen I've never felt the desire to hug someone more.

Seeing Pandemic as a Blessing

The people I thought were close were actually not. And that's turned out to be a really good thing Thank God pants are not as often necessary as in Before Times The relationships I bled for before ended up bleeding themselves out on their own The people who stuck around were not who I thought would I'm actually more than ok on my own than I thought I could be Nesting is a very real thing, and when done right (just authentically for myself) is actually amazing The feel of Good Toilet Paper is absolutely real (when available) If I have to spend time on my own, I might as well start getting to know myself Always add more garlic 'Chores' are just performing loving favours for my Future Self ("I know Future Me won't want to do these dishes, so I'll just do them now") I actually love myself more than I thought I did Cleaning is pretty therapeutic Instead of envying evidence of coupled neighbours, I can instead be happy such connections still exist I don't have to make up excuses for not wanting to be around negative people It's more than okay to just sit in a contented space of simply Existing Accomplishments can be small. I got dressed today. That's a Pretty Big Deal, really: I have a Body to Dress This body. I hated it before, but now I love it, because even though it's not perfect, it's gotten me here, to enjoy all these small joys in this space of Universal Lack and Pain Lack and Pain are both still Feelings. I'm thankful to be able to Feel Small joys. A good meal made. An artful playlist curated. A decent connection at the grocery till. A returned smile at a stoplight. Hey, that dog wagged its tail at me. That's really cool I never got to know Real Me in the Before Times. I never knew all the small wonders that could possibly make me happy, because I was always so busy busy busy at trying to be be be Even though I dutifully wear a mask now in all public spaces, I actually get to wear none of the ones I made myself wear before I'm just me I'm just finally Me I love me. And I hope you all love You too.

too much screen time

I sure would like to reduce my phone use, detox, dopamine fast, and everything... at the same time, computers are what got me to where I am in life. They're the one thing I'm really good at. All I have other than that is some amateur musical ability. Where to go from here?

Vampire Lust

I like women with a vampire aesthetic. Frills and red lips and a vitamin D deficiency. Is this a thing?

Lonely Pretendarian

I pretended to be someone I'm not for decades to much financial and career success. Now that I've been exposed, all those who claim the same status and receive the same special privileges like me are trying to distance themselves from me.

I Hate Myself and I Want to Die

What a great song. Besides that, sometimes I really do. Oh, hi! Beavis and Butthead was a great cartoon. I miss there actually being good TV on at night. I don’t even own a TV. Who remembers Johnny Carson?

Cyber stalking

Whenever I have a crush on someone, I cyber stalk them. Is this normal? I feel a bit creepy while I’m doing it, but I also have this insatiable desire to know more about them. It would probably be better to ask them out but I’m shy.

I had a vacation day

It has been a very long time since I've had one... I crashed. Did nothing. I went back to work and was way more productive. I think they should be paying us to take more time off. Seriously. Helps them... does nothing for us.

Thinking of Moving Back to Calgary

I never thought I would say this, BUT I am seriously considering moving back to Calgary (and no, I am not one to "hate" on Vancouver or complain all day - can't stand those people). It's not about cost of living or rent. I can afford it and I believe it's all about choices anyways. And no, it does NOT rain here all winter day in and day out - why people say it does all the time drives me insane. But, I have lived here for 17 years, and although I had a lot of fun here and good experiences, I can't stop thinking about my aging parents. Being close to them and having that time with them seems priceless. I also don't care about nightlife anymore ... had more than my share, so it's not as though I am concerned about "being bored" in Calgary. I guess my main worry is leaving a great climate and the film industry, as it is a side source of income and a fun hobby. Calgary also gets COLD and I love the Seawall (walk all the time) and the ocean is peaceful. I'm excited at the thought of moving, but a little weary at the same time. Will I regret it?! Anyone else move back to Calgary or would you? Feeling stressed.


Recycling depot New West

I came in quickly to drop off two bags of recycling at the express, You were in work gear sorting...


Savage Love: Partner might be exploiting past cheating to exert more control

Dan says tells a letter writer that he made a mistake by telling his girlfriend about a previous affair.

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