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I confess

I keep multiple guys on the back burner just in case. I’ve been seeing someone. He is great but I have this habit of keeping back up guys friends around in case I need them. Recently one of my guy friends called me out. He says I string guys along and make them think they have a shot. He also says I’m not honest about my stAtus or intentions. I think he is right and I feel like shit about it. But it’s always worked out for me. I guess I never considered how it may feel for them :(

Good riddance

I’m so done with these anti-vaxxers and their conspiracy theories. These types have made it very clear that they’re totally and completely insane. When I run into people who are far gone as they appear to be, I just keep on walking and don’t look back. Bye!

Nip it in the bud

I’m tired of talking about my ex girlfriend. I don’t want to talk about her anymore. After we broke up, I’d look back and try to make humour out of that bad situation I was in. Maybe it’s funny the first time, but eventually it gets old. It gets boring, exhausting and downright depressing so I’m simply too tired to take anymore trips down memory lane. There’s no logic in wasting time with the past. It’s long gone. It’s been almost a year now and time to close the book.

Self involved

I’m self involved. I rarely call or text anyone these days. It was always me taking the initiative which got really tiring because friendship is a two-way street. It felt exhausting to have to make the effort so I’m just taking a break right now. No, I don’t want to blame it on Covid or anything because I’m tired of using Covid as an excuse. It’s hard to explain… I find that the more I age, the less enthused I become. I don’t even have time or energy to get out there and try making new friends. I think I will just embrace my solitude and let nature take its course.

Channel Yawnsville

I hardly watch much TV these days. Most cable channels rarely show good movies like they used to and the news is boring. I don’t even care to watch local news anymore…dead body this, Covid that, police transition this, vaccine that. Same old song and dance. I guess no news is good news.

Closure

When I first found out that my best friend whom I grew up became transgendered, I didn’t know how to react. It was a lot to take in. I first met her in back in high school when she was a man. She had a different personality then and never once gave me any indication of being non-binary. I realize now that she’s much more solid and in a better frame of my mind so good for her. At least she’s healthy, happy and safe.

Ethics

Some of the hardest thoughts to make sense of these last couple of years, is how many people out there lack integrity and morals, they can't wrap their heads around how unethical their actions are. During times of great suffering they have a chance to shine a light on atrocities being committed and try to prevent them repeating. They instead chose to use their platforms to censor silence and further dehumanize human beings in the name of ethics. The cognitive dissonance in certain fields is breathtaking. I wouldn't want to be in any of those people's shoes when they realize the weight of what they've done. Maybe they do realize and only care for profits, depressing thought either way.

What do I do?

I'm in a relationship that I don't want to be in but everytime I try to leave he threatens to take away our two dogs. We got them together and they are biologically related and bonded so we don't want to seperate the boys. Im only staying in the relationship for the dogs at this point. I love them beyond words and can't handle loosing them. He keeps saying pretty much daily that if I leave him I'll never see the boys again so we should stay together. He's gone to far to say that if I leave he will find me and take the dogs back. He knows where to find me if I leave...

Too afraid to try again

I left my abusive ex 2.5 years ago. The 5 years we were together actually broke me.....and I am an extremely strong woman. He moved on easily and quickly, but I've been rebuilding my life since. It's not that I don't have men who are interested in me, I'm just too afraid to even try again. Sometimes I'm afraid I won't ever be able to trust another person again..

I confess, I don't get it

Women in their fifties playing teenage games... Why? What is it you want? She got mad at me years ago when I told her she looked good. It was surprising to me, I wasn't being creepy, I've said that to hundreds of women in my life and have only had women smile, say thanks etc. Her friends told me she's a bit of a weirdo... Fast forward three years... When she walks past me I ignore her, mostly because I don't want to catch shit from her for being nice to her. She walks by more and more often. Then she starts looking over and smiling at me as she passes. After a few of these I go and ask her out, she won't give me her number so I give her mine. She never calls, stops smiling at me when she passes etc. I ask her if she's ever going to call me. She says; "leave me alone", so I do. Then she contacts me on a shitty dating site. By this point I'm fed up with the childish games so my response on the website isn't exactly gentlemanly. So be it. We're both in our fifties, we both look good and are attracted to each other but , hair flips and sideways glances are all she seems to be about.... Lady, I'm an adult, not a teenager. I'm not looking for a woman my age who wants to play games. I'm not interested in games and I don't have time for them either. And, a, neither do you.

I SAW YOU

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