I had the displeasure of being invited to mandatory work meals with people in my office. I would never voluntarily dine with any of these people. I observed them talking to Person 1, and then once that Person 1 left the table to get back to meetings, this group would shit-talk about them. I don’t trust any of these people and never will. One of them then sent me a Facebook friend request. As if I would allow them to peer into my personal life and shit-talk about what they see about me! If I never have to attend a forced meal with these scumbags again, that would be ideal. My dad was a great conversationalist: discussing world affairs, politics, human nature, with humour and insight. My expectations for group conversations are still based on this therefore I should feign getting hit by a bus the next time a work event comes up.
Life sure has been quite different since I gave up drinking. Being sober has really made a difference in my weight and my attitude. There won’t be any holes in my pocket or my liver. Gone are those days of drinking cokes with Jack or Jimmy Beam. No longer am I singing bad karaoke in a drunken state of mind. Someone who wanted me for a drinking buddy said “You’ll be back, I know you.” Nope. You do not know me at all. See ya.
I wish I was a bird so I could just fly away.
Where no one could ever find me again.
Maybe next time around!
Wing and a Prayer.
Nothing matters. Nobody is making any permanent difference or impact in any way. In the grand scheme, life is far less than a blink, whether you live 100 minutes or 100 years. Time erases everything. So just get over yourself.
I am not sure about the saying “treat others like you would treat yourself”. The more I learn about how varied our life perspectives are, including how trauma shapes the mind, the more I feel like I have to listen and observe more. I try to show care for others by observing or asking how they want receive love but am so used to my own lense that I often mess it up. I guess that’s life. I just hate knowing that others can’t receive my care or love because I sent it out wrong.
The other day when I was passing Science World on the train, I had a vision of Expo 86, and for a fleeting moment I saw the fair as it was 33 years ago...What a rush! It left me wishing that I could time travel with my memories more often.
Over a year ago, I slept with a man who said he was single. I foolishly thought he wanted a relationship with me. Turns out he just wanted to cheat on his long-distance girlfriend. I felt awful when I found out, and immediately cut contact. Tonight, she found out. He gave her my name. She messaged me on social media. Girl, I'm so sorry. Just feel good in knowing that I now regret it even more. I know you're pissed at me, but you deserve better than him. I hope you get the relationship you deserve some day.
I want to get married and have children and be a great mom. That's what I want. I am tired of people saying I should be "leaning in" and being some type of social crusader. I understand that there are a lot of social issues but I just don't have the time to go to every disorganized protest with 50 different messages.
I just want a family and to be a great mom and that's enough for me.
I just found out that my neighbour passed away six months ago. I’m not too sure how to react. It’s always a shock when somebody dies but the reality is that he wasn’t a good person. No one in my building liked him. He was mentally unstable and when he drank too much it brought out the worst in him. How do you expect to be remembered if you knowingly do bad things to people and show no remorse for it?
If I wear some clothing styles, I am completely overwhelmed by the clothes themselves and look like I’m drowning in fabric