“I miss you, man.”
I was traveling through the city and was dropping something off at my old office. It’s been 4 years since I was an employee there. But it felt like no time had passed being inside the building. The facilities guy let me in and the first thing he said was that he missed me. Literally over the last 4 years, I’ve been raked through the coals, the pandemic turned my once-easy and predictable life into me swimming upstream for years, and I’m still swimming upstream and exhausted and burned out. Facilities guy’s words were the best thing I’ve heard in like freaking years. I felt seen and instantly centered. Like my past good life was not a dream, that I could get there eventually again someday, because it exists.
Thank you, Facilities guy.
It’s hard to explain. For more than a decade I had a home, a family with my roommates, community, I laughed on a regular basis, I had a social life. Next I’m frantically showing complete strangers photos of my old house like a grieving parent shows photos of a long lost child and trying not to tear up. It’s been years. I still haven’t recovered from losing the home I thought I would grow old in and I feel embarrassed. I still try to find ways to explain what it feels like. A divorce. Empty nest syndrome. A church disbanding. A community centre shutting down. Graduating. Your best friends moving away. It’s kind of like all those things together. But it’s not. A home means a lot to me. I wish it didn’t so it wouldn’t hurt the way this continues to. Sometimes I wonder if it’s like losing your manhood. From all outer appearances you may look fine but a key part of you is missing. Like a woman losing a womb. Missing this sacred space for nurturing, love, connection, self, belonging. And I’m supposed to just bounce back. Find somewhere else to live, meet new people, do things, find new opportunities to laugh again. This is the hard part. To hold on with open hands, not let go completely, and allow myself room to grasp onto new things. But I miss my home, how special it was and grief keeps coming back like an abscess. Moving on feels like opening myself to a heartbreak all over again. Tolerating pain, uncertainty, fear, and change seems easier with loved ones nearby. Building new relationships takes time, effort. And I feel so tired.
I had a fleury bad/good/bad/good relationships back to back all through my 20s, funnelling all of my youthful energy in to men and romantic relationships instead of in to my self. The last three years I've spent single, I was able to discover myself and learn to enjoy who I actually am. I have friends and family in my life, but I have this feeling of loneliness humming in the background. I miss intimacy, having inside jokes, cuddling, eating together, sleeping together. I miss hugging. I miss cooking for two, I miss having someone to do. I miss being in love.
I’m so relieved to still be working at the same workplace with my coworkers for now. Hopefully those trying to ruin it for us and the city we serve won’t be successful in their plan. Sometimes people are so greedy and dishonest, that they only see dollar signs and don’t think about how negatively they’ll affect future generations. Please root for us to stay. We genuinely love the work we do. Please don’t move us to the dark, depressing workplace. Good always wins.
He has these great qualities about him that he doesn't utilize. I think my school teachers used to call it "living up to your potential." I want to change or improve him but what does that say about me? You can't change or improve someone. Why does this bother me so much? That I want good things for him? Why can't I just live and let live?
When it comes to making this city great again. We need to build homeless shelters for everyone, by which I mean mostly ordinary citizens who actually contribute to society. Why can't green haired people help regular people out? Instead they concentrate on the hatred against anyone who doesn't share their beliefs (ironically they're thought-police even though they apparently hate the police).
Hi all—any other HSP’s or intuitive empaths out there? I’m struggling to come terms with all of this and frankly I don’t know where to turn. INFJ
In regards to the massive uptick in Black Bears being euthanized, it should also be noted that the amount of birds who ended up in wildlife centres because their nest were disturbed in the early days of the pandemic. Seal and deer babies were also brought to wildlife centres with more frequency when they could have simply been left alone. On the island all the white ravens, which were doing perfectly fine in the wild for year, all were taking to centres and are now ambassador animals. I could go on. Post an animal picture on social media, and that animal often gets euthanized, good job everyone.
I found out that my Uncle got divorced two years ago. He never told us himself and when we first heard this news from other relatives, we weren’t surprised the slightest bit. His marriage was on the rocks, right from the start. They were a very strange couple, and had a lot of problems. Don’t know all the ins and outs, but one thing is for sure: it ruined my uncle’s relationship with the rest of our extended family. No one liked her she was hostile, cold and racist. I still wish my uncle would open up because I’d love to offer moral support as best I can, but if he wants to keep it to himself, it’s his personal business. I’m not going to judge him for that. Divorce is a very ugly thing for people to go through but sometimes more often than not, it’s the right thing to do.
What’s the point in bringing up the past when there’s nothing you can do about it? People often harp about how they long for “the good old days” or “coulda, woulda shoulda” and so forth etc. Wouldn’t it be better to just accept some situations as they are and move on? No use in worrying over things that can’t be changed.