Search confessions

Missing the rain

Am I amongst the minority that misses the rain? There must be some people out there that feel the same way and I love that smell of the earth( petrichor) after a good downpour.I sit by my open window and take deep breaths of it.

Yes I wanted to

but I didn't want to right that very moment. I would've been ready in a few days or a few weeks. I would've wanted to then. I didn't want to at that exact moment. But you forced me because you said "I eventually wanted to." It's so troubling to think about I just push it out of my mind.

Pay attention!

Apparently there are more pedestrians getting hit by cars than ever before. But it’s not just the drivers at fault. Over the past 3 days of driving in the city I’ve witnessed multiple pedestrians who were completely unaware of the cars around them. In my own very congested city neighbourhood, while I was driving very slowly and carefully through side streets, I saw: a runner sprint across right in front of me without even looking, 3 people step into the street without looking to make sure the cars had even seen them, 2 people walk out of a grocery store and into the parking lot without even looking for cars, 3 people jaywalking across a very busy 4 lane street, multiple people ignoring the don’t walk sign, multiple people crossing the street while looking down at their phone, and 4 people flinging their car door open without checking for oncoming cars or standing with their car door wide open into the street while having a chat with someone else. So while there are definitely some truly terrible drivers out there, there are at least as many irresponsible and careless pedestrians. Since it’s the pedestrians who are going to be the losers in any collision with a vehicle, it’s about time they start to pay attention and smarten the hell up. I would feel terrible if I hit someone and I’m doing my best to make sure that doesn’t happen, but I’m only one part of that equation.

I Hate Waiting

So here I am at the airport gate alternating between watching cooking shows and He-Man Masters of the Universe.

Sleepless night

I’m trying to quit weed cold turkey. Ive smoked it for a while but I’m trying to experiment how long I can go without a joint or a gummy. The first night without cannabis is so hard. Can’t even get any sleep, and already I feel so irritable.

Just because I forgive you doesn't mean you get me back

Been seeing a lot of pearl-clutching and desperate posts by ageing parents on various comment platforms recently. They're usually something along the lines of "children should always respect their parents" or "your parents did they best they could" or "nobody's perfect" or "the past is the past". I think they're saying these things because they're realizing there is a huge cohort of abused adult children who are cutting out toxicity in their lives, and they're part of what's gonna be hauled to the emotional dump. Chickens always come home to roost.


I should know it’s okay to cry, to be upset and yet deep down I don’t. I’m embarrassed. I try to hold my breath, distract, but the tears won’t stop. If I don’t fight them at least they won’t show as much. Let them slip down quietly. I’m shaking and I can’t steady myself. Breathe. Slow the breaths. Think of ducks. It’s not working. I wish I could turn this off until I have the safety to ugly cry in solitude.

Kicking myself

I have a silly crush on someone I met a mutual friend’s birthday party. And it’s silly because she’s a bit older than me, has two young kids and it’s been a year since separating from her husband. All those facts aside, she is an incrediblybbeautiful and intelligent person in my eyes. This isn’t territory I have any experience in nor do I find it wise to explore. I basically my dream woman and I can’t stop f’ing smiling when she’s around me. But she’s not someone I can make mine at the end of the day

Contradictions in belief systems

Is this a Vancouver phenomenon or is the problem more widespread? Has anyone else run into the contradiction amongst your peers that believe their lifestyle (usually vegan) and habits (bike riding) cause fewer environmental issues and profess to respect all peoples etc. Except that their lifestyle betrays their disrespect, for example I know an artist who claims to be environmentally sensitive, yet freely use hair color with damaging chemicals, never hesitate to get rides in other people's cars, and create their art so that it can be transferred to a PVC format. PVC is the most dangerous kind of plastic on the planet and yet the same person who claims to be respectful of all environmental issues is basically making a living polluting the planet with no explanation as to this inherent contradiction so go figure why no one is calling them out on it. Do people just have their heads in the sand or do they just not care? I confess, I am at a loss to explain nail polish and cosmetics and hair color being used as if they were harmless, by vegan bike riding small footprint types. Why is everyone pretending they are "woke" when their personal habits reflect thoughtlessness?

Dog Days of September

I love this time of year. Most people are back to work from holidays or are back in school. The beaches and trails are less crowded. I can grab a preroll and my tunes and go for the day and chill. I guess October counts to.


I Saw You See Me See You

I walked by you on the street along Hastings last week and recognized you from a patio last...

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