Someone didn't want to be with me. I behaved badly. I hurt them over and over again. Still am. But I don't want to apologize. I'd rather project about wrath and self righteousness and throw empty accusations at them instead of growing up and evolving.
I have never really felt at home in any of my apartments. It's hard to feel at home in a grey building surrounded by a bunch of strangers. Or in a basement suite where you live under a family. When I am out at night I look longingly into the windows of houses, and they like so cozy. I wish I had something or somewhere or someone in my life that felt like home.
25 years later and we're still in each other's lives. You're kind, funny, and so good looking!!! I wish I could get inside your brain.
You told me a secret and you had a plan for overcoming that secret. The secret was embarrassing and the plan failed. Why you have blocked me out is a wonder since you know I would have done anything to support and help you. I'm frustrated and hurt by your attitude, especially when one day you will waltz in and act like nothing has happened and I'll cave to your charms because I'm a sucker.
You've chosen your friends over your family. We're cool with that. Even when these very precious friends rotate out of your life and you have new ones every 5 years or so. Just remember, we've never rotated out of your life no matter how shitty you've treated us.
The secrets you keep & skeletons in your closet are what warps you into the angry monster you have become.
Your guilt is for good reason. Karma is your future & our dream is done.
I left Physical Graffiti playing when I left for work last night. When I returned 8+ hrs. later the disc was skipping on Kashmir. Was I perhaps channeling the Hong Kong police band?
Can manage as a B student easily. Can not for the life of me think or speak in front of entire class.. but is massively required by nearly all my classes. It's a hinder and I've been working on it for years.. but still, nothing comes up. I am marred by this and drop down to a C or C- just because I can't say a few sentences every discussion. Really.. crap.
I've just learned that my hearing loss is a tad over the municipal policing and RCMP basic requirements. There goes that dream.
As a young student, perhaps in middle school or high school I remember the question of what I wanted to DO with my life coming up. Do I want to be a doctor? An engineer? A police officer? I remember having vague ideas of what these careers earn. But no, I wanted to be an artist. I would be fine with little $. What they don't tell you though is it isn't just you! Soon you're 36, and your parents are old and they didn't save properly and you have a mentally unstable serial birther sister draining their finances and you have no idea how you're going to keep EVERYONE from the streets when no one dissuaded you from idiotically going into the arts. So you have to hide out on the other side of the world and never discuss money so everyone assumes you're poor or else you'll have to support them.